Lyrics Corrections for All pages

  • Thread starter Thread starter Kizuato*
  • Start date Start date
i will post here first for all to see:

Yami no Uta
(Song of Darkness)

The darkness paints your cheeks red
The winter flame burns furiously
A rose coloured shadow

After a yearning from long ago and
Exhausted dreams
In this heart
Burns freezingly

The place where sparkles fell off
Become intoxicated to
The flute in darkness

A dreamlike canon in the sea
A marcato that yearns for the sky

For my dearest, I'll send the notes of
music soaring
In praise of flowers in the
dark night, the moon clouds over
A vacant heart needs for only dreams to echo on
Playing this endless song, the stars fall

A story of flames, told on a never ending night
Our spring sleeps in stolen light
When memories and loneliness of the
heart bear fruit
The night is filled deeply and
fragrantly with dreams of you

In the darkness, it all begins with
exotic notes of music
The moon falls to the passionate
playing of the legato

A vacant heart needs for only dreams to echo on
For you who I miss
I play this song of darkness
Click to expand...

This looks more atrocius in some parts to me :(
 
^
Well, since I'm not a translator (I know what the words mean, but I don't know whether it's told by the singer perspective, outsider's perspective, or something perspective), we need someone kind enough to re-translate that song...
 
^ Ther werent missing, there was just something missing (a </table> tag) in the code which made that page strange, now its fixed.
 
Just full text of Obsession http://canta-per-me.net/lyrics/obsession/ :ohoho:

deep in the night
(far off the light)
missing my headache
(missing my headache)

visions of light
(sweeter delight)
kissin’ my loveache
(kissin’ my loveache)

how come I must know
where obsession needs to go?
how come I must know
where the passion hides its feelings?

how come I must know
where obsession needs to go?
how come I must know
the direction of relieving?

deep in the night
(far off the light)
missing my headache
(missing my headache)
deep in the night
(deep in the night)
missing my headache
(missing my headache)

how come I must know
where obsession needs to go?
how come I must know
where the passion hides its feelings?

how come I must know
where obsession needs to go?
how come I must know
the direction of relieving?

missing my headache
(missing my headache)

(how come I must know...
how come I must know
the direction of relieving)

missing my headache
(missing my headache)

how come I must know
where obsession needs to go?
how come I must know
the direction of relieving?
 
arqnohikari said:
something small.. though I pulled a couple of head hairs from it..
On the FictionJunction ~ Stone Cold page

soba ni iru to tsutaetai 側にいる 伝えたい <- no と -___-
側にいると 伝えたい
Click to expand...
Kowz said:
I noticed some mistakes in the kajiurago lyrics of some songs, so I decided to re-write them. :ohoho:

Heigen

E.G.O.

To the Beginning
Click to expand...

I did the necessary changes to these pages. I'll continue to do more... Please inform me if there is anything wrong with them. :bow:
 
For Tsuki Hitotsu in the end back-vocal maybe someone find it useful

samishige na tsuki hitotsu
anata no tokoro de miru koro wa
KIREI na mangetsu ni natte iru darou

kono hane furuwasete
tabidatsu tori wa ima
aisareru riyuu wo
keshiki ni
sagashiteta

anata wo aishite kara
dakareta mune no oku no
ichimai no e no naka
kaeritai
umi wo mitsuketa

tsuki wa ikutsu aru no?
hitori no heya he to kaeru michi
sorezore no yori wo
mimamotte kureta

konna tsukiakari ni
tobidatsu tori wa ima
dokomademo jiyuu ni
aishitai
kimochi dake

anata wo aishite kara
miageta sora no chizu ni
te wo kazashite warau
mou hitotsu no tsuki wo mitsuketa

(One lonely moon
One sweetness moon
You are
One lonely moon
One lone, lonely moon)

samishige na tsuki hitotsu
(One lonely moon
One sweetness moon
You are)
tsuki wa ikutsu aru no?
(One lonely moon
One lone, lonely moon)

(One lonely moon
One sweetness moon
You are
One lonely moon
One lone, lonely moon)

(One lonely moon
One sweetness moon
You are
One lonely moon...)
Click to expand...
 
See-saw ~ Anna ni Issho Datta no Ni
Recommending/requesting changes to some lines.

arifureta yasashisa wa kimi wo toozakeru dake
tsumetaku kirisuteta kokoro wa samayou bakari
sonna kakkowarusa ga ikiru to iu koto nara
samuzora no shita me wo tojite iyou

anna ni issho datta no ni
kotoba hitotsu tooranai kasoku shiteiku senaka ni ima wa

anna ni issho datta no ni
yuugure wa mou chigau iro

semete kono tsukiakari no shita de
shizuka na nemuri wo

This everyday kindness is only pushing you farther away.
You're merely wandering with a cold heart... that you cast away. <--- thinking too hard here :P

If something looking this bad is what it’s means to live,
Then let us close our eyes under this freezing sky.

Even though we were so close together,
(I believe in love) (I believe in love)
The distance grows between us and we couldn't get a word across to each other.
(how I miss you)

At the very least, let us have a quiet sleep under the moonlight.

kokoro wa doko ni iru?
Where do our hearts lie?

*in the kalafina version.. i believe it's "In my soul and in my heart" <--- I hear I bleak "and" in there.

changes and approve soon or later :sohappy:
 
Saeko Chiba ~ Melody
Recommending/requesting changes to some lines.

Original:
Because the roar of waves is audible
From somewhere within the crowd in this evening town

change:
Because the roar of the waves can be heard
from somewhere within the crowd in this evening town.

Original:
It’s the rhythm of a distant summer, The melody captured in a sepia photo

Change:
It’s the rhythm of a distant summer, a melody captured within a sepia picture.

Original:
I’d tired of the irritation of time passing by

Change:
I'd get tired and frustrated as time passes by.

Original:
And I want to sing it deeply, conveying it to someone

Change:
And I want to sing it from my heart, conveying it to someone. <---
(I thought "from my heart" would sound better, even though "Atashi no kokoro kara"/or of this sort of saying: is not implied)
(Atashi = female form of watashi "I") :P

Original:
Since my song is beginning

Change:
Since my song begins to overflow from the burned past,

Original:
From when I put on a white shirt over my sunburnt skin

From when I wore a white shirt over my sunburn't skin
 
Emmm...I don't mean any offense to ninetales. But some Kajiurago in some songs are corrected by ninetales (as it's written in the notes under the lyric page) but for me those Kajiurago are so far from what I hear. I've saved some song lyrics from this site before with the old translation and Kajiurago (ie. fairytale - Kalafina, adore - Kalafina) and Kowz's transliteration of Kajiurago in those songs are the same with what I hear.

Any people's opinion about this?
 
^ Well when she was still and editor, she asked me if she could correct some, but afterwards when she finished with those, she gone and changed almost all :uh..: If you want I can turn them back. Just tell me which of the pages you mean.
 
What do you think about arq's recommendations on translation of some songs, george? Should I update the translations with these?

EDIT: I've updated the page for everlasting song (Japanese version) with the additional of Kajiurago and English lyrics sung only during YK lives. Please check if the changes were right. :bow:
 
I discussed with yuki_n his suggestions for anna ni isshou datta no ni and she said that the correction he suggests for "pushing you further away" is right, but the rest of these are not (implying the existing lyrics of that song are more correct). I guess she will have to review the rest of his suggestions for the rest of the songs for you to put them or not ^^ . She's currently on in Hong Kong for a seminar. I dunno when she comes back.
 
^ T 3 T Pffttt... Well I'm sorry I'm not Yuki.n Translator extraordinaire :stupidtable:

But you know what... I'm trying my best and giving it my thoughts..

George, you make it sound like I shouldn't even bother helping with lyric changes... :knife:

I am a member of this forum and I am doing my part.
 
Kajiurago added in Mezame from Vol#9 :uh..:

Does this sound right?

kamariyadesta imente sambarai adista
kamariyadesta inoche kesatai adisia

*it's not in the Lyrics page so that's why I'm asking...

:omg: don't hurt me

subbing Vol#9 right now...
 
Re:

arqnohikari said:
^ T 3 T Pffttt... Well I'm sorry I'm not Yuki.n Translator extraordinaire :stupidtable:

But you know what... I'm trying my best and giving it my thoughts..

George, you make it sound like I shouldn't even bother helping with lyric changes... :knife:

I am a member of this forum and I am doing my part.
Click to expand...

I appreciate that ^^. I just I am against applying correctiona to lyrics if we are not sure they are more correct than the existing ones
 
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