Complain about all!

^Ganbatte!

I have been having some small panic attacks lately. I think I am just over anxious about things. Life right now seems to be just motions for me... some days are better than others, but I feel like I am just experiencing someone else's life, if that makes sense. I am in pain more often than not. Though I am getting treated for it, and I know it takes time. Still. I have no motivation to do anything that I like except games on my phone and even then with the headaches. I want to read again, write again, draw. I'm not even listening to music as much which is really bad. I want to get a new violin teacher too, but I am afraid to because I know they will be more strict and I cannot play right now. I want to get a job and move out and get a kitty which I have been wanting for so long. I think it would help a lot just like my niece does. anyways... sorry just had to vent a little.

This stupid humidity needs to go away. It's actually cool out but still humid inside so we still have to have the air on. I am all stuffy and my feet are burning up.
 
Good luck Liana! Have courage and patience, your pain will eventually stop if you're being treated for it!

Last night my brother came home after a couple of months. I had been on-and-off on holidays myself, and the few times where I went into his room, I apparently didn't look around very well. He came back last night around 23:00, we looked up... the ceiling of his room was full of food moths! I was so silly that I had apparently neglected to look up at the ceiling all this time. My dad was driving him and he was going to stay here for the night, so our plan to resolve this was that I'd vacuum away whatever food moth I could see, my brother would sleep on my parents' bed, and my dad would sleep on the couch. Later on I saw that there were 2 food moths above the wardrobe, but my brother was already asleep and had to wake up at 6AM.

As they came back from the village, they had brought us a lot of mum-cooked food. There was a thermal bag with more smaller bags inside, and one of the smaller bags had leaked. I had to pick up all the contents inside other bags, wipe the floor and wash my foot (because I didn't see I had let it drip before stepping on it), wash the thermal bag with the hose and hang it outside.

Soon after that, my dad said "darn, I put on my pyjamas too early" "what's wrong?" "a bag of fruit broke and the trunk is full of fruit, I wanted to go back with another bag to get them.. oh well, I'll go tomorrow" "where's the car? if it's not too far I can go" "no, it's just around the corner". So I also had to pick up the fruits.

After that, it was already past midnight and I *finally* had dinner. My dad and brother were both asleep, they both had to wake up at 6AM. I went back to my room to see that the phone had been ringing, it was mum. She said "don't empty the dishwasher, we had interrupted the washing because it was taking too long, the dishes weren't clean". "Mum, are you telling me now? I already emptied it, everything looked clean!"

So this morning I had to wake up, vacuum away 9 more food moths that were hiding during the night, put back everything into the dishwasher (or at least make an estimation of what I had emptied) and rerun it before starting work. The dishwasher looked like it wasn't running properly, so this time I instructed my dad (he'd shortly drop by again) to check if it ran properly, and I instructed my brother to take the vacuum cleaner and make an attack above his wardrobe. Now let's hope that there will be no more homemade disasters for a while!
 
^Thanks. Yeah... I just want to feel better already. I haven't had many days where I felt good.

I wish I could stop time in order to do all the things I wanted to do. I still have to clean my room, I want to read the new manga I got, watch Detective Conan and YouTube videos. Then I have a lot of books I haven't read yet. *sigh* I just feel like collapsing and giving up sometimes.
 
The weirdness one feels when working lots of shifts that aren't physically demanding but do take up lots of time including travelling which one has to drive due to the hours involved (6am start to 5pm finish and 7am start to 3pm finish).
 
Both Lindsey Stirling AND Loreena McKennitt are going to be in Chicago/Milwaukee area on the same weekend. That is the same weekend as this event at my dad's airport (he flies for fun). Lindsey is Thurs-Fri and Loreena is Sat. Loreena is usually only overseas which makes this really difficult. I know, I'm already seeing Yuki in Jan, but stiiiiiiiilllll. Why did they have to choose that weekend? Ughhhhhh :comeback:

Had a bad day yesterday. Started out answering questions about my auctions which took most of the morning, then my dad had decided to try and fix the printer, which he doesn't understand computers/devices that well. And my lunch did not go as planned. And then about 20 mins before I had to leave for my training, my dad said my tire was almost flat. So of course we had to leave early to try and air it up, but there were people in both gas stations. So he took it while I was there but still. It seemed like I was rushing all day. And that does not go well with my anxiety. I wish I didn't have anxiety. Okay, sorry I've been posting a lot.

Kuga: wow, that would be draining to me. I could barely do 8 at the convenience store where I live. I don't know how more people don't have back/feet problems since they are on their feet so much. Hope you get some rest though!
 
I have so much school work it's ridiculous. It's the reason why I wasn't able to submit much for the fan project and it's practically all my stress. I have health homework, a two part geography assignment, a science assignment, a cooking practical, an Italian assignment AND personal project. Everything except Personal Project is due next week and I haven't even started because the written to my cooking practical was like 9 pages long. Plus, I have a music test too, for piano. I don't understand how our teacher expects us to do a full 12 Blues bars seamlessly using left and right hands with one lesson of practise once a week for 3 weeks. Honestly I'm genuinely surprised on what I've been able to accomplish since 2 weeks ago even just looking at the base line freaked me out completely. Hopefully we'll be moving onto bass guitar soon, that should be easier.

I also need glasses. While my right eye is pretty good (although not 20/20) my left eye is like 10x worse and everything is super blurry. I got tested last Wednesday. This took 3 hours since my left eye was tested first and I could barley see the biggest letter and at the time I never knew my left eye was so bad. This coming Wednesday I have to go back, get tested again, get a referral and go to a pediatric doctor to actually see why my eye is like this and THEN get a prescription.

How the hell were my grades so good last semester? they were the best grades I'd ever had! HOWW?!?!?!
 
LacrimosaRaven said:
I have so much school work it's ridiculous.
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Same here. My homework for my AP World History class takes a million years to complete, and that's just one class... Luckily I like history so it's not as bad.

LacrimosaRaven said:
While my right eye is pretty good (although not 20/20) my left eye is like 10x worse and everything is super blurry
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Yet again, same here. I had a physical last week and I got test there, but they said my vision was 20/20 despite me messing up on nearly all the letters with my left eye.


Also, I have officially been diagnosed with scoliosis, and it sounds like I'll have to have surgery at some point for it. I'm hoping I can get away with a brace but my parents are hearing none of it. The doctors said it's right on that fine line between brace and surgery (48°), but my parents seem to want to go ahead with the surgery :/...
 
^Good luck... I have been dealing with it for 16 years now, which is more than half my life, well, a little over that since I wore a brace for awhile. Though everyone is different. I keep finding new things wrong. Like now my feet are messed up because of how I'm aligned. I want to talk to God and ask "Why? Why do you make humans this way?" kind of like how I feel about all the hatred that's going around the world too. *sigh* Oh, I am now on the Spine Care Support forum as well.

So my left foot has been really hurting. I can't talk to my dad about pain very much, since he is sympathetic yes, but he deals with pain in a different way, by not talking about it. So my mom is in Florida this week, and my foot is throbbing. And now since I've been walking funny my whole left side hurts. Ugh. Now I think I'm getting a cold, since my niece had one the other day. I am a little bit worried about her, since she woke up screaming because she was coughing so bad. Poor thing.
 
My thighs have been really tense lately which is strange since I don't usually get many cerebral palsy symptoms and I never notice my limp, even when walking directly in front of mirrors. I think it might jut be the winter weather here, heat packs seem to get rid of it.

My shoulders have also been hurting recently but I think that's just because I sleep on them a lot.
 
^for your thighs can you put your ankle up on the opposite leg in a sitting position and then lean forward a little? That releases tension in your thigh as well.

So tired today. Probably the rainy weather.
 
The worst thing about the exams are not the exams themselves, but all the stress they give you. Good luck!

Anyway, I have started watching RE:Zero last week and cannot understand its popularity. Like I felt so bored I had to stop watching. The pacing of the story is awful and most of the characters are mediocre. Which is sad because the premise had potential to become an interesting thriller, something BokuDake-like =(
 
Zinnia said:
Anyway, I have started watching RE:Zero last week and cannot understand its popularity. Like I felt so bored I had to stop watching. The pacing of the story is awful and most of the characters are mediocre. Which is sad because the premise had potential to become an interesting thriller, something BokuDake-like =(
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Re zero for me it's the best dark Anime I've ever watch. We got romance (Subaru x rem), thriller, psychological, mystery, great battle scenes.
Well as we know, it's all coming back to our preferences :)


My complain :

Fail more than five times in my research about Hydrocolloids on food. I've used 10 litre of chemical reagent (acetone), bought about 10 kilograms of dragon fruit but it yields nothing but failures.
I know that we can learn from failure but it's so depressing to fail that much


*sorry for my English. Here in Indonesia I don't speak in English
 
My shoulder is killing me. Also it's taking forEVER for me to move into the other room. I want to be in there now. Yesterday's rug shopping did not go well. *sigh* By the time I move in there we will be ready to move out. Which I actually want to now because mom said I could get a cat! *sigh again*
 
It seems the state of the relationship between my dad, stepmom, and I has reached an all-time low. It seems like no matter what one of says the other always takes some sort of offense to it. And pretty much every conversation turns into some kind of argument. I can tell some of the stems from a difference between who they want me to be (based heavily on traditions) and who I am. Even though I've lived with them for at least the majority of my life it seems like they don't know me or my beliefs. Hopefully this can resolved sometime but if worst comes to worse I only have a few more years. :headbite:

Also school is giving waaaaaaaaaaaay too much work and it's only September :faint:
 
I'm in the IB program at my school (eternally regretting it :vortex:) and my 4000 word Extended Essay is due tomorrow, and I still have over 1000 words to go... :blood:
Time to spam my Kajiura playlist!!!
 
sarasara said:
I'm in the IB program at my school (eternally regretting it :vortex:) and my 4000 word Extended Essay is due tomorrow, and I still have over 1000 words to go... :blood:
Time to spam my Kajiura playlist!!!
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ohhhhh boy IB. The Alleluia CDs will forever remind me of my EE for the same reason
what classes are you taking, out of curiosity?
 
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