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The foreveralone circle

#67
i'm joining too...:comeback:
anyone remember me? anyonee... i was here, ummmm, two years ago...:spotlight: so many new members since my last time visiting CPM...
for this thread's sake only, i logged in XD

and, well,...can I share my story?
*continues anyway*
i have a bf and friends, but, just... i feel so busy with college and stuffs that i can't handle even myself.
i'm an introvert, but, nobody can live without others, right? i kept my sanity with meeting and talking to people.
but, just recently (it has been a year now) i am so busy (like I said, with college stuffs) that i don't have time to talk 'casually' to people (talking not about college and stuffs), and it makes me dont even want to talk to people, and... i feel like i lost my ability to talk to people. you know, to describe your feeling to people through words verbally (not with text like this).
i think i should fix myself, just dunno how.
last friday, i finally cried in the class, everybody seemed worry and cheered me up, but i felt strange among them that i couldn't freely tell them what I feel. then i went to my bf's home and cried again and told everything i could, but in the end he asked, 'do you still have something to say? your face says so,' but i couldn't think anything else. he also asked me to cry hard (scream, etc) but all i could do was crying silently.
and he asked, 'how many times have you cried? (since college)', i answered, 'i never did before, just today,' and he seemed quite surprised. i said that how can someone cry on these simple reasons (too busy that your brain want to explode), but he wasn't agree. he said i should cry more, but how can I cry if i am too busy for it?
do my story ruins this thread's atmosphere? or this is too long? i'm sorry... :rain:
aaaaand i hope you all here will find your true happiness too :chuu: *i can't really cheer you all since i'm trying to cheer myself too ahahaha*
 
#68
oh wait... on a second thought, i wonder if i'm really introvert or not, re-reading my earlier post.
when i was younger (Junior until Senior high school) i mostly spend my nights alone in my room doing things i like (and lucky my parents give me privacies i need), and by doing so i can be happier in the next morning. now i move to different city and have to share my room w/ my sister.
i don't know if i can be categorized as introvert or not, or to fit in this thread, foreveralone or not. but honestly i don't want to be alone (physically or mentally) forever :rain:
 
#69
Of course we remember you :P
I had something similar happening is highschool :TdT: ... just started crying in the middle of the class about something almost irrelevant... and couldn't really stop... No idea why that happens...
But you shouldn't worry or try to 'fix yourself'. Until I was done with school, I couldn't really talk about anything else but what I have to learn and learn and learn... It gets better when you finally get some time off-school.
Also maybe try make you and your room-mate use the room at different times? As an introvert I can't imagine sharing a room... I'd go insane.
"he also asked me to cry hard (scream, etc) but all i could do was crying silently." I think that's perfectly alright, not everyone can scream off their burdens.
I don't really know how I can help, but try to... stay positive? It will be over when you get of college for sure.
 
#71
soooo glad someone still remember me! aaawwww Varete-san! want to hug you right now! :touched::chuu:
i think we all here should hug each other so we wont be foreveralone...

now i only use my room for sleep (light is off so it gives a better feeling) and changing clothes (when i'll be completely alone). for studying and stuffs i use the parlor, it is a bit away from the living room XD
and for that crying habit... i was crybaby ^^" i once cried hard in Senior high school, maybe he took that moment as reference for my crying habit?
thaanks for caring me Varete-saan :chuu:

... and Crystalpink-san, why do you want to be forever single?:confu:
just asking (not asnwering is fine tho) ... my older sister seems to take that kind of path too, and my mom quite mad at her, because my mom wants grandchildren. noone understand my older sister, and it is kinda... pathetic? i guess the inability to communicate properly runs in our genes ._.
 

crystalpink

Roses at her doorstep
#72
... and Crystalpink-san, why do you want to be forever single?:confu:
just asking (not asnwering is fine tho) ... my older sister seems to take that kind of path too, and my mom quite mad at her, because my mom wants grandchildren. noone understand my older sister, and it is kinda... pathetic? i guess the inability to communicate properly runs in our genes ._.
Because I'm already used to being single for quite a long time, and so far I'm loving it~
Less problems, less drama. Basically, I have my own freedom :XD::XD::XD:

Well, same here. My parents, especially my mom, was totally upset and unhappy when I told her about it.
She has the same reasons as what your mom has, but I don't care. I know what's best for me~ :ohoho::ohoho::ohoho:
 

Smoshes

I adore Yuki
#73
i'm joining too...:comeback:
anyone remember me? anyonee... i was here, ummmm, two years ago...:spotlight: so many new members since my last time visiting CPM...
for this thread's sake only, i logged in XD

and, well,...can I share my story?
*continues anyway*
i have a bf and friends, but, just... i feel so busy with college and stuffs that i can't handle even myself.
i'm an introvert, but, nobody can live without others, right? i kept my sanity with meeting and talking to people.
but, just recently (it has been a year now) i am so busy (like I said, with college stuffs) that i don't have time to talk 'casually' to people (talking not about college and stuffs), and it makes me dont even want to talk to people, and... i feel like i lost my ability to talk to people. you know, to describe your feeling to people through words verbally (not with text like this).
i think i should fix myself, just dunno how.
last friday, i finally cried in the class, everybody seemed worry and cheered me up, but i felt strange among them that i couldn't freely tell them what I feel. then i went to my bf's home and cried again and told everything i could, but in the end he asked, 'do you still have something to say? your face says so,' but i couldn't think anything else. he also asked me to cry hard (scream, etc) but all i could do was crying silently.
and he asked, 'how many times have you cried? (since college)', i answered, 'i never did before, just today,' and he seemed quite surprised. i said that how can someone cry on these simple reasons (too busy that your brain want to explode), but he wasn't agree. he said i should cry more, but how can I cry if i am too busy for it?
do my story ruins this thread's atmosphere? or this is too long? i'm sorry... :rain:
aaaaand i hope you all here will find your true happiness too :chuu: *i can't really cheer you all since i'm trying to cheer myself too ahahaha*
Hello, im sure you dont know who i am since I havent even been on this forum for even a year! but i would love to help you out.

I think the fact that you cried indicates the point where you finally snapped. I do believe the fact that you dont mingle with people finally hit you and not trying to be rude but maybe youre lying to yourself by saying that you have no time to talk to people? Everyone has time for everything, its all about priorities. Im a fellow college student myself, I make it a point to make friends at the start of the term. This is when the work load is not heavy and everyone is new, its much easier this way. I know the feeling of not being able to tell anyone anything (your classmates who approached you when you cried), because you and I both know that deep down, you dont feel connected to any of them at least, not to a point where you can tell them whats going on.

Crying or screaming your heart out is only a temporary solution. Yes you will feel better now, but maybe a few months down the road, the feeling will come and hit you real hard, maybe even harder than it hit you now. You shouldnt change yourself, be you and talk to people. The right people will stay in your life. But you have to at least try. Just go up to the approachable ones, and try being close with them. Trust me, they will love you and hey, if they dont, thats their lost! If they do end up being your friend, maybe your college work burden will reduce also cause they can help you out for physically and mentally. You seem really stressed now.

Just pause and take a minute to reflect on your entire situation and decide what road you would like to take from here. Do you want to just carry on this way? Will this path truly make you happy? Or do you want to try and try another road? It may be get better or worst but if you dont try you will never know.

No honey, you did not ruin this thread! You my friend, brought life to it!
 
#74
Because I'm already used to being single for quite a long time, and so far I'm loving it~
Less problems, less drama. Basically, I have my own freedom :XD::XD::XD:
.....
aaaaa i get it! maybe my big sis thinks so. she dislike complex things, i think...
she's 32 now. haha so there's no other way to change that mindset? even i think that's kinda cool somehow XD
(i have a bf but i guess i get an award for not replying his chat in 6 days :ohoho:

Hello, im sure you dont know who i am since I havent even been on this forum for even a year! but i would love to help you out.

...
i know yoouuuu... i lurked here a few times (but no login) ehehe, and thaaaanks for your caring :chuu:
i guess you're right. i'm kinda slow... even for recognizing my own problem, heh
my earlier school has less classmates and i took about 1 year to comfy myself in it, plus classmates' kindness...
now i go to college, there are too much classmates, and they have more 'colorful' traits (i came from a small city w/ kind people around), and i think i somehow feel inferior... Felicita was a spoiled brat, hahaha. :spotlight:
i always worry (and nervous~) to get close to people, and as I said before, maybe i am a bit 'introvert' that i need a little time for myself after hanging out with people. people here hang out too often and i also worry if i go with them, i need extra time to rest myself once i hit my home, before doing all assignments. my big sis here (i live far from my family, so she's more like my guardian) doesn't like me hang out too often either. so... i rarely go with them, and maybe that's why i feel disconnected...
... hehehe somehow i just realize this! i guess i'm terribly slow-minded.
maybe i'm way too worry over things. they're all kind, i guess, and i'll try to befriend them and try to have topic to talk without hangout with them, hehehe.
thaaaanks again, smoshes-san! mumumu :chuu:


.... i think i'll ask here too. how to tag people? i remember clearly we can do that kind of thing, i tried using '@' but it didn't work ._.
 

Cerise

I have reached Yuki nirvana
#76
Feli-channn~ let me give you a cyber hug :chuu:

I'm glad you felt brave and comfortable enough to share this with us on here. I think it's good that you've decided to make the resolve to talk to others more. Let me just say that you're not alone feeling like this. Not many of my old friends entered the same uni as me so I've gone from being in a very large group of close friends to literally doing everything alone. And it's not that the people in my course aren't friendly, but rather for some reason I just haven't been able to 'click' very well with anyone, even after trying to get involved in conversations and stuff. I feel like an extroverted introvert, so I'm actually extremely awkward and shy and get incredibly nervous/anxious inside when talking to other people even though I usually try to put on a cheerful and bouncy front so I think I can relate to how you feel about not being able to actually talk to anyone about your real feelings. Being around many people at once can be very overwhelming, but somehow I feel like the 'right' ones whom you can get along with will gravitate towards you naturally.

Don't think you have to force yourself to do or say things to fit in. I believe that if you be yourself (and you seem like an incredibly sweet, nice person!) then the ones who can recognise your value will definitely befriend you! And the ones who don't - well, like Smoshie said, it's their loss, not yours! It's ok to take it step-by-step if you feel anxious about speaking to people at first. Just starting off by saying small, simple things will eventually give you more confidence to make longer conversations. And most importantly you are most definitely not 'inferior' to anyone! To quote, (Pooh Bear, or all things :XD: )“The things that make me different are the things that make me.” There's nothing wrong or shameful with being introverted or wanting time to yourself. It's just how you are, and I'm sure there are many people in your life who do love you for who you are, even if they don't always show it. :goodjob:

And finally, because Winnie the Pooh is a beautiful teacher:
If you're feeling down, or lose faith in yourself, always remember that "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." :idol:

Go forth and conquer, felicchii! :chuu: :goodjob:

EDIT:
To tag people you just put @nameofpersonyouwannatag e.g. @littlefelicita Note you have to get their name exactly right. Also, if you start typing their name (even without the @) sometimes the tag will appear and you just have to click on it, similar to the Facebook tagging system, if you're familiar with that. ;D
 
#77
Cerisee-saaaaaaaaaan :chuu::chuu::chuu:
*i'm a bit sleepy and i wonder if i can talk properly now*
actually this is not really my first time encounter this problem, but last time i was active in both here and blog (yeaaah those sweet old days, ahaha, felicita wasn't this busy. i remember we captioned kalafina photos and ended up making fanfiction...) so i use those opportunity to be able to speak to people RL.
the prior time i encounter this problem... i did self harm. ahaha, now i know that's bad so i won't do that anymore..... XD
i remembered how colorful you people are here (and personally i think CPM has much friendlier aura than most forums i visit), so i lurked here... and saw this thread, and ended write the whole problem here :desksweat:
thaaaanks a lot Cerise-saaan, you (and all people caring me here) made my days a lot better! i feel more relaxed and lighter by read your words!
people here (in my class, i mean) are so kind, i just have to be brave to start talking to them! i'm in my little steps to talk naturally to them, thanks to you all :chuu:

... and maybe i have less happy childhood memories XD i didn't know Pooh has such beautiful quotes, i never watched the animation before. me wanna watch now...
(aaaaand i'm sorry for turing this forever-alone-circle thread into counseling thread:bow: :rain::desksweat:)
 
#78
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2016/05/28/national/media-national/poverty-boredom-gnaw-japan/

Japan’s poverty is real enough all the same, and among its indicators is the faltering of an institution — marriage — that, perhaps more than any other, has been a rock of stability down the ages and across the cultural spectrum, in conditions of dearth, plenty and everything in between.

For a soaring number of young adults, it just isn’t happening, and the predominant factor is economic. Part-time employment is all 40 percent of the Japanese workforce can secure nowadays. Part-time salaries, with no or few benefits, bonuses or raises, are pocket money given Japan’s cost of living; you’d be hard-pressed to raise a family on one. Factor in the lack of job security, as part-timers must, and marriage becomes, for many, a luxury forever out of reach. Today, 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women aged 18-34 think of themselves as “lifetime singles,” says the National Institute of Population and Social Security Research — figures that are expected to rise within 20 years to 29 and 19 percent, respectively.

Shukan Toyo Keizai magazine is struck by this anomaly: Eight years into a “marriage activity boom,” marriage remains stagnant. “Marriage activity” translates the buzzword “konkatsu,” which covers a variety of orchestrated events — parties, outings, travel and so on — aimed at giving singles a chance to meet and pair off. The orchestrators include private companies, local governments anxious to replenish sagging populations and parents despairing of ever knowing the joys of grandparenthood.

It’s not that the young people resent this as interference in their lives. They’re willing enough to cooperate, but … well, here’s “Yuichi’s” story, courtesy of Shukan Toyo Keizai: He’s a 47-year-old part-time care worker who has made the rounds of the proliferating marriage agencies, but “as soon as they hear I’m part-time, they cut me short.”

An agency insider confirms that dispiriting impression.

“Most women aren’t interested in part-time workers as husbands,” he explains. “So part-timers’ chances of success are slim to begin with, and then when they fail, they complain to us about having wasted tens of thousands of yen in membership fees.”

Surely not all women reject part-timers out of hand? In bygone days, when being female pretty much doomed a person to lifelong financial dependency, women naturally sought a good provider — but now? Haven’t times changed?

They have and they haven’t. More women than ever are self-supporting, that’s true. “Yukie” is 31, works in IT and earns ¥4 million a year. All she wants in a husband, she insists, is “someone I feel comfortable with.” She doesn’t need, and isn’t after, a sugar daddy.

“I don’t care if he makes no more than I do” — which sounds modest enough, but does she realize, Shukan Toyo Keizai wonders, that 70 percent of unmarried men earn less than ¥4 million?
 

juchanx3

7 billion humans. She must know I exist
#79
@Kugayama Interesting article!
Sometime ago, I saw on Tv ... men from Japan that have virtual girlfriends, and they even walk together with them using their handheld game console. :omgz:
 
#80
Hello guys, joining the circle because I'm a lonely, sad loser. But hey, at least I'll always have Kalafina hah ha.. heh... heh.... *sobs* ANYWAY, how is everyone today?
 
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