Manten

[Cerise]

both lyrics translations seem beautiful~

 

[tracyalexia]

Try arrange it by using the lyrics that yuki.n give,

shizuka ni matataku
hoshitachi no chiri yuku sora
todokanu inori ga
ten to chi wo mitashiteta

hosoi eda ni hikaru no wa
saki wasureta mirai
mada nagori oshisou ni tsubomi wo otoshita

hora mou toki wa michite nigoru kin no kajitsu
sono te de tsumitoru dake de sekai wa owaru kana

kegarenu mono toshite furu yuki no shirosa wa
nukumori wo shireba kieteshimau no
kirei na yume dake ga anata wo kirisaita
tsumetai hitomi no yasashisa to shinjitsu

hageshiku matataku hoshitachi wa ten ni somuite
atarasu inori ga
kono sora wo otosu made

watashi wo toburau tame no hanataba wa iranai
kokoro ga tsuienu uchi ni negai wo kanaete

mitodoketemitai
hito no nozomi ga
sanzando hikari ni michiru toki wo

tsubasa wo hoshigatte dare mo ga naiteita
inochi ga kanaderu manten no chorus

yakekogeta negai ga
sora wo kojiakeru koro ni
natsukashii kokyou wa
kitto hana no sakari deshou

hageshiku matataku hoshitachi no yume no ato

yasuragi no aru to hito no iu saihate made
tsukikage yasashiku
yuku michi wo oshiete yo

shizuka ni matataku hoshitachi no
inori no sora
anata no sakebi de
kono yume ga owaru made

 

[Hime_Wakana]

both lyrics translations seem beautiful~

Aye aye!! I really love Manten

 

[Alphard Sokaina]

Oh the lyrics is so awesome

 

[LianaIlia36]

Yes, the lyrics are great. Thanks yuki.n. Sorry for the poor quality. I will try and scan better in the future.

 

[yuki.n]

Hey~

Overall, I think Jasmin's translation is more accurate, so I'll work on that one, quoting ninetales at times...

look, soon time will overflow as it bears a golden fruit

Why "overflow"? 満ちる means "to get full", right? Based on a Greek expression using the exact same words (το πλήρωμα του χρόνου), I understand 時は満ちる as "the time comes" - Google translate suggests "the fullness of time" or "the time fully comes" for the expression I know, though I've never heard it... and it makes sense... circumstances are ready and the time has come for the golden fruits...

the world will end after you pick it with those hands of yours

I think you missed だけ and から here... "because, if only you pick it with those hands of yours, the world will end"

if the pureness of snow that comes down as something unsullied knows warmth,
it will completely disappear
as a beautiful dream tore you into peaces
those cold eyes showed kindness and truth

I think Ninetales is more accurate here:

as an unstained thing, the whiteness of the falling snow
will disappear if it searches for warmth
just beautiful dreams alone tore you to pieces
with the kindness and truth of their cold eyes

Though, I'd substitute "searches for warmth" with "knows warmth" - 温もりを知る - in theory, it might search for warmth but not find it, right?

a bouquet of flowers are not needed to mourn for me
while my heart does not collapse, my wish can come true

I understand this as:
I don't need bouquets of flowers to mourn for me
grant my wish before my heart collapses

people want to see through their own eyes
their wish to overflow time in the brilliant light

Here, I understand:
The wishes of people, that they want to try seeing through their own eyes,
fill time with brilliant light
(Again 満ちる meaning becoming full vs overflowing? But if it's "filling" instead of "becoming full" wouldn't it be 満たす instead?)
EDIT: how about "become the brilliant light that makes time get full"?

as far as the furthest end of the earth
is where humans say peace exists
tell me the way where the moonlight gently goes

Here, I understand that the way of the moonlight leads to the furthest end of earth where peace exists... rephrasing:
Show me the way
where the moonlight gently goes
until the furthest end of earth
where humans say peace exists

the quietly twinkling star’s prayer is the sky

Not that it's much different, but IMHO ninetales is slightly more accurate here:

it's the sky of the prayer
of the quietly twinkling stars

 

[missjasminnn]

Re:

look, soon time will overflow as it bears a golden fruit

Why "overflow"? 満ちる means "to get full", right? Based on a Greek expression using the exact same words (το πλήρωμα του χρόνου), I understand 時は満ちる as "the time comes" - Google translate suggests "the fullness of time" or "the time fully comes" for the expression I know, though I've never heard it... and it makes sense... circumstances are ready and the time has come for the golden fruits...

Thank you! i was a bit confused on how to use 満ちる since it's not really in my vocabulary. i looked it up and i did come up with "to get full" and i also came up "to be overflowing with". i didn't know how to really translate it, but i think "the time comes" makes a lot more sense!

the world will end after you pick it with those hands of yours

I think you missed だけ and から here... "because, if only you pick it with those hands of yours, the world will end"

だけ can also mean "as" so "as you do this, this will happen" or "this will happen as you do that" . so that's why i got confused here >.<

if the pureness of snow that comes down as something unsullied knows warmth,
it will completely disappear
as a beautiful dream tore you into peaces
those cold eyes showed kindness and truth

I think Ninetales is more accurate here:

as an unstained thing, the whiteness of the falling snow
will disappear if it searches for warmth
just beautiful dreams alone tore you to pieces
with the kindness and truth of their cold eyes

Though, I'd substitute "searches for warmth" with "knows warmth" - 温もりを知る - in theory, it might search for warmth but not find it, right?

this was a weird one for me, so i know this line was probably incorrect. i just didn't know how to phrase it.

thank you!

people want to see through their own eyes
their wish to overflow time in the brilliant light

Here, I understand:
The wishes of people, that they want to try seeing through their own eyes,
fill time with brilliant light
(Again 満ちる meaning becoming full vs overflowing? But if it's "filling" instead of "becoming full" wouldn't it be 満たす instead?)
EDIT: how about "become the brilliant light that makes time get full"?

i like how you rephrased it! thanks! again, the whole michiru thing confuses me >.<



ありがとー, yuki.n♡

 

[yuki.n]

Re: Re:

First of all - both jasmin and ninetales - I'm a bit tired, so I forgot to mention - 本当にありがとう！！！ I might have corrected a few things here and there, but there are several places where I'd most likely have screwed up myself, and several other places where you phrased it better than I could have!

the world will end after you pick it with those hands of yours

I think you missed だけ and から here... "because, if only you pick it with those hands of yours, the world will end"

だけ can also mean "as" so "as you do this, this will happen" or "this will happen as you do that" . so that's why i got confused here >.<

Yes it is a bit confusing indeed, but I think "only" makes more sense, because ... picking a fruit is a very small thing to make the world end, right?...

改めてありがとう〜〜 ♥

=======================================================

EDIT:
Thanks to a friend for noticing - the first line of "kagayaku sora no shijima ni wa" says "toki wa michiru koro", and in our site (taken from elsewhere too) it's translated as "when time is up", which basically agrees with my intuition:

look, soon time will be up as it bears a golden fruit

become the brilliant light that makes time get full

It's also an expression from the Bible, so no wonder it's spread from Greek to English and even Japanese, as it seems ☺

If someone has time, please try to bring the pieces of the puzzle together, taking these two lines above into account, and writing a correct translation... and let me review it again tomorrow morning for "oops" mistakes... going to sleep now

 

[ninetales]

^ Thank you for the breakdown of the lyrics! This has been a really interesting song to translate

So what should the final product be? Maybe a combination of all our translations?

 

[missjasminnn]

@yuki.n

well, you know how Yuki's lyrics are these days...picking a single "golden" fruit can end the world hahaha just kidding!

こちらこそ☆

edit:


the sky where the stars that twinkle scatter
is where heaven and earth was appeased by an unsaid prayer

shining through a thin branch was the future that forgot to bloom
and yet, seeming reluctant, the branch let the bud fall

look, soon time will be up as it bears a golden fruit
because, if you only pick it with those hands of yours,
the world will end

as an unstained thing, the whiteness of the falling snow
will disappear if it knows warmth
just beautiful dreams alone tore you to pieces
with the kindness and truth of their cold eyes

the stars that violently twinkle go against heaven
until a prayer that becomes their enemy crashes the sky

i don’t need a bouquet of flowers to mourn for me
grant my wish before my heart collapses

the wishes of people, that they want to try seeing through their own eyes,
become the brilliant light that makes time get full

everyone was crying because they wanted wings
life plays the whole sky’s chorus

when a scorched wish wrenches open the sky
the birthplace i miss will probably have flowers in full bloom

traces of the dream of the stars that violently twinkle

show me the way
where the moonlight gently goes
until the furthest end of earth
where humans say peace exists

it’s the sky of the prayer of the quietly twinkling stars
until this dream ends with your cry


edited it with all our translations

 

[yuki.n]

Bump - you both replied while I was editing my post - Just making sure you see the edit - @ninetales, yes, it will be a combination of all our translations おやすみ〜〜〜

 

[ninetales]

^ Ah, okay! Good night

 

[missjasminnn]

おやすみなさーい！

thank you for your hard work! rest well

 

[Cerise]

^^^thanks so much for your hard work, you guys!

 

[george1234]

lyrics up http://canta-per-me.net/lyrics/manten/ they need line break fixes so that it doesnt look this awful.

the translation combination of the previous page with correct stanzas:

the sky
where the stars that twinkle scatter
is where heaven and earth
was appeased by an unsaid prayer

shining through a thin branch
was the future that forgot to bloom
and yet, seeming reluctant, the branch let the bud fall

look, soon time will be up
as it bears a golden fruit
because, if you only pick it with those hands of yours,
the world will end

as an unstained thing, the whiteness of the falling snow
will disappear if it knows warmth
just beautiful dreams alone tore you to pieces
with the kindness and truth of their cold eyes

the stars that violently twinkle go against heaven
until a prayer that becomes
their enemy crashes the sky

i don’t need a bouquet of flowers
to mourn for me
grant my wish before my heart collapses

the wishes of people,
that they want to try seeing through their own eyes,
become the brilliant light that makes time get full

everyone was crying because they wanted wings
life plays the whole sky’s chorus

when a scorched wish
wrenches open the sky
the birthplace i miss
will probably have flowers in full bloom

traces of the dream of the stars that violently twinkle

show me the way
where the moonlight gently goes
until the furthest end of earth
where humans say peace exists

it’s the sky of the prayer
of the quietly twinkling stars
until this dream ends with your cry

 

[Shizu_Iliya]

YYYYYEEEESSS!! THANK YOU SSSOOOOOO MUCH!!! -->

 

[Hime_Wakana]

YYYYYEEEESSS!! THANK YOU SSSOOOOOO MUCH!!!

Domo arigatou!!

 

[missjasminnn]

Re:

i edited the romaji because there were some small mistakes.
also, "daremo" is not "dare mo" since daremo is one word, not two.
"nagorioshisou" is two words made into one, so they should be together because they make one meaning.
some words were made as one, even though they weren't supposed to.
there's mistakes just like the above mentioned stuff, so here's the edited romaji:

shizuka ni matataku
hoshitachi no chiri yuku sora
todokanu inori ga
ten to chi wo mitashiteta

hosoi eda ni hikaru no wa
saki wasureta mirai
mada nagorioshisou ni tsubomi wo otoshita

hora, mou toki wa michite minoru kin no kajitsu
sono te de tsumitoru dake de sekai wa owaru kara

kegarenu mono toshite furu yuki no shirosa wa
nukumori wo shireba kiete shimau no
kirei na yume dake ga anata wo kirisaita
tsumetai hitomi no yasashisa to shinjitsu

hageshiku matataku hoshitachi wa ten ni somuite
ata nasu inori ga
kono sora wo otosu made

watashi wo toburau tame no hanataba wa iranai
kokoro ga tsuienu uchi ni negai wo kanaete

mitodokete mitai
hito no nozomi ga
sansan to hikari ni michiru toki wo

tsubasa wo hoshigatte daremo ga naiteita
inochi ga kanaderu manten no chorus

yakekogeta negai ga
sora wo kojiakeru koro ni
natsukashii kokyou wa
kitto hana no sakari deshou

hageshiku matataku hoshitachi no yume no ato

yasuragi no aru to hito no iu saihate made
tsukikage yasashiku
yuku michi wo oshiete yo

shizuka ni matataku hoshitachi no
inori no sora
anata no sakebi de
kono yume ga owaru made


EDIT:

also, i overlooked chiri yuku as being 散り行く instead of 散り逝く
so the correct line is:

the sky
where the stars that twinkle scatter and die

so if you can correct that george, it'd be awesome
sorry guys i fail

 

[Cerise]

^ NOO jasminn you're AWESOME Thanks for all your hard work!

Just a question, doesn't Wakana sing something else (like, two words) after 'manten no chorus'? I can hear her holding a really long note there... or is it kajiurago?

 

[george1234]

Re: Re:

so if you can correct that george, it'd be awesome
sorry guys i fail

Dont worry I will fix them :)