Studio CPM Onion Anime!

[Black Sword]

Hey everybody! As we all know, when I get bored at work, I tend to produce anime episodes in-chat. The restriction is that the star of the show has been doing who knows what, so now I'm going to free myself from the restriction and just produce the episodes here

I'll be bringing the earlier episodes here and using studio code magic to improve the quality. I'll be shooting for weekly updates, but I also know that I can run out of ideas at any time, so if you have suggestions on where to go with the anime, please let me know.

 

[Black Sword]

Anime: Assassion Mahou Shoujo Megy
Year: 2014
Season: Winter
Studio: Studio CPM

Transformation 01 - I'm an assassin mahou shoujo!?

Opening - we see across the beautiful city of CPM, created in the image of Mitakihara City from Madoka. Camera drifts down to a pretty house. Two people are seen running toward the house from opposite directions.

Megy:
Verty: mai waifu
Megy: mai husbando

Suddenly, an explosion! Horrible shapes appear and attack the citizens of town! Evil anti-kajiurans invade the city of CPM!

Their dark ruler has sent his evil generals to destroy us all!

Megy:
Verty:
Megy: mai husbando is such a wimp

As Megy contemplates her wimpy husbando, a mysterious shadowy figure appears before her!

mysterious figure: do you.... want to protect everyone?
Megy: Yes, yes I do!
mysterious figure: then contract with me and become a mahou shoujo
Megy: but I saw this anime already! It ends badly!
mysterious figure: look, do you want to save everyone or not?
Megy: I guess....
mysterious figure: good enough! now, you are a mahou shoujo!

A transformation sequence begins as Megy suddenly transforms into... a mahou shoujo version of the To The Beginning dress!

Megy: this looks awesome!
mysterious figure: by the way, this makes every anti-kajiuran know you're around, so they're coming for you
Megy: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
mysterious figure: have fun!
Megy: jerk! get back here!

A horde of evil anti-kajiurans have found Megy and attack her! They unleash their horrible musically offensive attacks as poor Megy dodges and runs away, trying to figure out how to survive! A crazy battle is underway before Megy finally discovers how to use her powers!

Megy: Time to get serious!
Megy: BEHOLD MY POWER! TE TO TE TO ME TO ME!

All of the anti-kajiurans do the te to te to me to me dance until they explode! Megy's neighborhood is saved from the evil anti-kajiurans!

mysterious figure: by the way, now you have to defeat all the monsters
Megy: I should have said no...

 

[Black Sword]

Transformation 02 - what do you mean I can't quit!?

The episode opens with a shot of Megy's house. We see Megy's sleeping face up close, as her eyes open.

Megy: I had such a weird dream. I dreamed that I was a mahou shou-

Megy is wearing her To the Beginning-based mahou shoujo outfit!

Megy: WHY AM I WEARING THIS DRESS?!?!?!
Megy: Wait, wait, wait, I know, my perverted husbando probably changed my clothes while I was asleep. Oh, he's in trouble, he is--

A mysterious figure appears behind Megy!

Mysterious figure: did you forget? you made a wish to protect everyone and became a mahou shoujo!
Megy: YOU! You.... wait a minute!
Megy: You can't be here! We'll get sued!

Mysterious figure is revealed as ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼!

／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: nah, my eyes are black, not red, so we're safe.
Megy:
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: anyway, you have your wish and you're now a mahou shoujo. you have to defeat all the anti-kajiurans
Megy: now wait a minute, you! I never said anything about--

Verty walks into the room

Verty: Waifu, I came to say good morn-

Verty passes out from the nosebleed caused by Megy's mahou shoujo outfit!

Megy: ...mai husbando is such a hentai. Anyway, I refuse to be a majou shoujo!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: I won't force you. but are you really ok with letting the anti-kajiurans do what they want?
Megy: I don't care, I saw how this anime ended last time and I won't become a pink-haired megami who sacrifices herself for everyone!

The city of CPM suffered damage from the anti-kajiuran attack yesterday, but everyone is hard at work fixing things. Megy goes food shopping after finally figuring out how to hide the mahou shoujo outfit.

Megy: Oh, they have a sale on beef. I can make a good stew with that.

Suddenly.... AN EXPLOSION!

People:
anti-kajiurans: plot:
Megy: ugh, why me?

The anti-kajiurans attack the innocent townspeople with their screeching anti-music powers and everything becomes terrible! Particularly for the ears.

Megy: well, if I use my powers just one more time, it won't count as me being a mahou shoujo, right? Ugh, I have to save everyone!
Megy: estima saria solte i yaria arima mistiosa mia arti kosa miya arti masa!

Megy transforms into her mahou shoujo outfit that looks like the dress from To The Beginning!

Megy: anti-kajiurans, in the name of CPM, I shall defeat you! TE TO TE TO ME TO ME!

The anti-kajiurans all do the Te to Te to Me to Me dance until they explode!

Megy: Meh, this is way too easy. Now, I just have to-

Suddenly, Megy is sneak attacked by three anti-kajiurans who are not minions! They are.... THE BLACK-EYED PEAS!

Megy: omgz: What, you didn't explode?!

The Black-Eyed Peas stand in their obnoxious poses and taunt Megy!

The Black-Eyed Peas: We're much stronger than those small fry We'll destroy CPM and make you slaves to our music forever!

Megy: Not while I'm here! I'll stop you! ...somehow!

A battle ensues! the Black-Eyed Peas beat Megy up, 3 to 1!

Megy: That's not fair!

Megy is beaten to the ground and cannot move!

Megy: This... this can't be...
Black-Eyed Peas:

Suddenly, Megy remembers her husbando! ....nosebleeding!

Megy: Ugh, I am not this weak! I'm a mahou shoujo!

A wind begins to blow as Megy's anger grows stronger!

Megy: I'll defend CPM! I'll defend all of us who do not want to be enslaved!
Megy: Mata Kaze Ga Tsuyoku Natta!!!

Megy's new power causes a great wind attack that sends the Black-Eyed Peas flying into the air! They crash into the ground, defeated by Megy!

／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: congratulations on your victory
Megy: You! How long were you here!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Oh, long enough to hear "I'm not this weak! I'm a mahou shoujo!" We have a contract now. You have to defeat the anti-kajiurans for me
Megy: I...I never said... I want to quit!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: You can't quit. It's in your contract for this anime.

Megy: What do you mean I can't quit?!
Megy: I should have stayed in bed today

 

[Black Sword]

Transformation 03 - I'm an assassin!?

Inside Megy's house, Megy is on the bed, upset.

Megy: I don't want to be a mahou shoujo. This ends really bad every time.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: you shouldn't be so depressed.
Megy: You! Stop eating my food!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: I'm hungry.
Megy: Oh yeah? well, Te to Te to Me to Me!

／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ is trapped into the Te to Te to Me to Me dance! ...he does not explode
Megy:

Megy runs outside to play

Verty: waifu

Megy runs over Verty as she runs away from home

Verty:

Megy goes to the park and listens to Kalafina. Megy: Keiko

Megy: But this is weird. Why are these anti-kajiurans attacking CPM? We never hurt anybody. What ARE anti-kajiurans?
／ 人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: anti-kajiurans are people who want to be commercial pop performers. they attack good music and take all the energy from the people who love good music to become stronger. some of them eventually grow to become pop stars

Megy: You again! I left you doing Te to Te to Me to Me!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: I got bored.
Megy: Then... wait, what? you mean that you can just get away from it?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: no, I just blew myself up and got a new body
Megy: What a horrible little cat-thing you are
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
Megy: what, what is it?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: I sense... yes, it's time. Come with me! If it's you, you can stop it!
Megy: Huh? Stop wha-
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Come along
Megy: H-hai....

Megy and ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ race through the park and find a concealed location! They see the Black-Eyed Peas surrounded by a horde of anti-kajiurans.

／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: We're just in time. They're about to make a new pop star, with music just as bad as theirs.
Megy: we have to stop them!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Yes, that's why you're an assassin mahou shoujo.
Megy: Yeah, that's why-what.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: assassin mahou-shoujo? you?
Megy: Me? B-b-b-b-b-but I don't know how!

Unfortunately, the power of a mahou shoujo is detectable by anti-kajiurans! The wannabe pop stars discover Megy and begin to attack with their horrible shrieking!

Megy: Gah, gotta transform! estima saria solte i yaria arima mistiosa mia arti kosa miya arti masa

Megy transforms into her mahou shoujo outfit that looks like the dresses from TTB! She quickly attacks the anti-kajiurans!
Megy: TE TO TE TO ME TO ME!

The anti-kajiurans do the te to te to me to me dance and start getting ready to explode when suddenly.... A HORRIBLE SOUND FROM FERGIE'S MOUTH!

Megy: What is that horrible noise?!?!?!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: she's singing
Megy: Make it stooooooooooooooop

The anti-kajiurans stop dancing and seem to grow in power!

／ 人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: you shouldn't waste time on the small fry. You should eliminate the anti-kajiuran that's about to grow into a pop star!
Megy: B-but I don't know how! I've never assassinated anyone befor-

The anti-kajiurans begin to gang up on Megy!

Megy: ENOUGH! I'm REALLY mad now! MATA KAZE GA TSUYOKU NATTA!

The wind blows and all the anti-kajiurans get sent into the sky and smashed into the ground! The anti-kajiurans begin to explode! Fergie, however, is still intact!

Megy: Wait, this is how I beat you last time!
Fergie: That same attack won't work on me twice! I have bigger boobs now
Megy: I hate this job so much. Well, it's time for... a desperate retreeeeeeeeat!
Fergie:

Megy runs away to a new hiding place at the high speed only available to anime characters running for their life!

Megy: Ugh, this sucks. If they make another one of them, my life will be even harder. What should I do?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Show them the true power of an assassin mahou shoujo.
Megy: You always run away when there's trouble, don't you?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: in my job description.
Megy: I'm going to make you into a cake
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: maybe later, but first, shouldn't you get rid of that anti-kajiuran?

Over by the Black-Eyed Peas, the chosen anti-kajiuran is being offered a record contract, and seems to be powering up!

Megy: But hooooooow
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: is that all you can do to protect everyone?
Megy: I hate you so much, why'd I have to agree to this, it sucks, I don't even know how to fight, blaaaaaaah.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Think about it. If you can't defeat them on your own, then you'll never get things to go back the way they were.
Megy: I'm not strong enough. We're doomed. There's gonna be another pop star and... and....

Suddenly, Megy remembers her sempai, Liana!

Liana-sempai: Megy, if you want to do something, make sure you do it. It's important that you do it from the beginning, so that you don't have any regrets
Megy: hai, Liana-sempai!

Flashback ends and Megy seems stronger!

Megy: I... I won't run away! I'll.... I'll take everything back to how it was before.... I'll take everything back.... to the beginning!

Megy is glowing!

Megy: estia kasa misti firi ato.....

A giant gun appears in Megy's hands! It's a powerful rifle that seems to have infinite range! Megy lifts the gun and aims it at the anti-kajiuran who is about to sign the record contract. The light of the silver moon falls upon the anti-kajiuran

Megy: a miracle will take place once more!

Megy pulls the trigger! a great beam of light that looks as beautiful as the silver moon obliterates the anti-kajiuran!!!!

Megy: I... I did it! Hey, did you see that, I di-

Megy turns to look around for ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼, but discovers Fergie right behind her

Fergie:
Megy: ....crap, this is going to be a two-part episode.

 

[aki]

this is great blackie

 

[Black Sword]

I'm going to finish getting the episodes here. Tomorrow, expect Transformation 06!

Transformation 04.... why can't I win just once!?
When last we saw our heroine, she had eliminated an anti-kajiuran about to evolve into a pop star!

Megy:

However, much to her dismay, she was discovered in her hiding place by Fergie, a powerful anti-kajiuran!

Megy:
Megy: Wait, I beat you once before! Now, stand still, I'm going to use this g-
Fergie: Do you really think I'm just going to wait for you to fire that gun? I'll drain your energy and become even stronger!
Megy: Well, uh, that is, uh....
Fergie: Any last words?
Megy: thank goodness you're here, you came just in time!
Fergie: Who, who came to he-

Fergie turns around and sees no one behind her.

Fergie: I just fell for the oldest trick in the book, didn't I?

Megy is running away at full speed!

Megy: I don't wanna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie
Fergie: Get back heeere!

Fergie summons anti-kajiurans and sics them on Megy!

Megy: Oh, come on, we found out three episodes ago that these things can't match me! Mata Kaze Ga Tsuyoku Natta!

The anti-kajiurans fly into the air and fall into the ground, where they explode! However....

Fergie: Who said they were supposed to match you?

Megy: Uh-oh... uh.... how about we call a truce? I mean, there's a sale going on at the supermarket, and I want to get some meat so I can make a ste-
Fergie: HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT FOOD? DO YOU KNOW WHEN THE LAST TIME I HAD REAL FOOD WAS?
Megy: I don't care, I don't even like you, your music is awful! Te to Te to Me to Me!

Megy's desperate attack failed! Fergie proceeds to show Megy what she thinks of her

Fergie: Stupid! Little! Girl!
Megy:
Fergie: this is all for my dreams! I'll drain you of all your energy and become an even stronger pop star! Then i'll use what's left of you as my slave!
Megy: Never! Mata Kaze Ga-

Fergie hits Megy again and sends her flying head first into a vending machine!

Inside the vending machine...

／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: having a hard time, huh?
Megy: I hate you
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Can you go away? This place only has room for once person to hide
Megy:

Megy throws the vending machine, with ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ still inside, at Fergie! Fergie blows up the vending machine, with ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ still inside!

Megy: At least I got even with that evil little twerp.
Fergie: What evil little jerk? Oh, whatever, give me your energy!
Megy: Oh, oh, oh. L-look, out
Fergie: I'm not falling for that trick twice! Now, take thi-

A building falls on Fergie's head! Her rampage against Megy weakened the structure of the building and resulted in its fall on her head!

Megy: ....this is a really anti-climatic way to win, but I'm not complaining.

The ground begins to shake!

Megy: Why can't I win just once?!
The rubble explodes and Fergie emerges from the rubble!

Fergie: I'll tear you to pieces, I won't let you stand in my way! My dream! My dream!
Megy: I'll fight you and win! I have to win! I'm the heroine of this anime!
Megy:

Megy smashes into another building!

Megy: This sucks. Does she even know what a dream is?! She's just a manufactured pop star who relies on sex appeal and soulless songs to gain popular appeal!
Megy: Wait a minute.... a dream...

Megy has a flashback!

Liana-sempai: Dreams are like fairy tales, don't you think, Megy-chan? Every one, from the biggest to smallest, listens to those fairy tales as a small child, and wishes they had that magic.

The flashback ends and Megy is standing once again!

Megy: Dreams... are like fairy tales. I'll show you what a real dream is, Fergie!
Fergie: Shut up!

Fergie charges at Megy, coming for the finishing blow! Megy stands calmly and points her finger at Fergie's heart.

Megy: esta sormai ate atore tritia amesta more mistia

A beam of light pierces Fergie's heart!

Fergie:

Suddenly, Fergie sees a vision! Chibi-Fergie is innocent and free, singing songs that are actually good!

Fergie: A dream... from my childhood... of singing sweetly... of an eternity that would never end...
Fergie: That beautiful dream I... I don't want to be a pop star anymore
Megy: Then abandon the anti-kajiurans. your music is horrible, but surely even CPM will accept you if you abandon your ways
Fergie: I...I want to join...
Megy: Wha-what happened?!
Fergie:

A hand pierced Fergie's torso and holds her heart, a reference to a famous scene in Kara no Kyoukai movie 5 Paradox Paradigm! Fergie's body falls, to reveal.....!

Megy: ...wait, are you a boy or a girl?
Justin Bieber: I'M MALE!
Megy: What? But... you look really girly. Like, super girly.
Bieber: I'm MALE!
Megy: Are you sure?
Bieber: HERE!

CENSORED!

Megy: AGH, MY VIRGIN EYES! PUT IT BACK, PUT IT BACK, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A SHOW LITTLE KIDS CAN WATCH!
Bieber: ANYWAY, I don't know what you did, but we can always replace this... failure. We'll put in a new anti-kajiuran heart and she'll be back to normal.
Megy: yeah, well, not if I can help it! she's a horrible musician, and she stole energy from CPM, and she beat me up, and she... wait, do I really want to help her?
Bieber: However, it's really a pain to have to rebuild old pop stars. so first, I think I'll get rid of you myself...
Megy: Oh yeah? Well, take this! MATA KAZE GA TSUYOKU NATTA!

Bieber is unaffacted by Megy's attack!

Megy: ...this is going to end on another cliffhanger, isn't it?

Episode begins to fade to black

Megy: Nooooooooooooooo! Don't leave me alone with this girly flasher!

 

[Black Sword]

Transformation 05.... can't we have a new cute mascot?!

When last we saw our heroine, she had defeated Fergie of the Black-Eyed Peas and was about to turn her into a new friend when suddenly....

Megy:

Eh? What's with Megy?

Megy: I can't be a bride anymore
Bieber: Keep calling me a girl! I'll show you I'm a real man!
Megy: You... you monster!
Megy: STOP BURNING MY VIRGIN EYES!
Bieber: now, it's time to get rid of you, brat
Megy: TE TO TE TO ME TO ME!

Bieber shrugs off Megy's attack!

Bieber: Oh, come on, I do more embarrassing stuff than that.
Megy: I'll beat you! You sick little girl looking thing!
Bieber: Haven't had enough?

Megy and Bieber face off! Wait, where did Megy get a machete from? Why does it look like she wants to geld Bieber?

Megy:
Bieber:

Before the fight resumes, something green seems to be flying by

Megy: Eh? You're kidding!
Bieber: ...is that... a baby dragon? I could make so much money.... I could even make more pop stars
igo baby dragon la la la la la I love go, I love games, I love anime, la la la la la

Bieber jumps into the air and grabs the baby dragon as it flies by!

Bieber: You're mine now! I'll take you and Fergie's corpse, and be rich and powerful!
igo baby dragon: help me, I'm just a little baby dragon that plays go
Megy: unhand that baby dragon!

CENSORED!

Megy: MY VIRGIN EYES, PUT IT BACK, PUT IT BACK

While Megy is recovering from Bieber's attack, Bieber escapes with igo baby dragon and Fergie's corpse!

Megy: ....this anime just gets weirder every episode. Now what should I do?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: you should probably rescue that baby dragon.
Megy: Aren't you dead?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: I got better.
Megy: Yeah, well, I'm sick of this job. I don't know where they went and I'm going home.

Inside Megy's house, we discover that Verty has been inside ever since Megy ran away earlier!

Verty: Oh, waifu, if you don't say anything, I'm going to touch all your underwear
Megy: husbando
Verty: w-waifu I... I wuv u
Megy: MATA KAZE GA TSUYOKU NATTA!

Verty is thrown out of the house by a violent windstorm!

Megy: Well, I guess I should make some dinner while listening to the news.

Megy turns on the TV and leaves it on the news. She's halfway through making a nice steak when she hears....

Newscaster: Today at the CPM Zoo, a new exhibit opened with a new animal. The zoo claims it is a dragon and is charging $50 per viewing

On the TV screen...

igo baby dragon: help me I just want to play go

Back in Megy's house...

／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: you know, if they decide to feed the anti-kajiurans that baby dragon, they'll all become pop stars.
Megy: Say that sooner!
Megy: I've gotta go rescue that baby dragon! and this time, they won't see me! I'll show you what an assassin mahou shoujo can do.
Megy: estima saria solte i yaria arima mistiosa mia arti kosa miya arti masa!

Megy transforms into her mahou shoujo outfit that looks like the dress from to the beginning!

Megy: Let's go, you stupid little twerp!

Screen change to a tall skyscraper close to the zoo. Megy is using binoculars and sees the anti-kajiurans gathering around the baby dragon

Megy: This is perfect They don't suspect a thing

Suddenly, she sees a familiar person!

Megy: What, but... oh yeah, right...

Fergie has been resurrected by the evil anti-kajiurans!

Megy: Doesn't matter. Time for my revenge.
Megy: estia kasa misti firi ato.....

A giant gun appears in Megy's hands! It's a powerful rifle that seems to have infinite range! Megy lifts the gun and aims it at Fergie and the anti-kajiurans. the light of the silver moon falls upon them

Megy: down to zero we go!

Megy pulls the trigger! a great beam of light that looks as beautiful as the silver moon obliterates Fergie and the anti-kajiurans!

Megy: Did you see that? I got them!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: what about the baby dragon?
Megy:

Suddenly, something falls from the sky and hits Megy on the head!

Megy:
igo baby dragon: CPM is scary I wanna go home
Megy: You're so cute
Megy: Become our new mascot
igo baby dragon: no way! this anime is scary! I want to go back home
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: igo baby dragon, contract with me and get your own anime! it'll be a cute kid's series around teaching people how to play go
Megy: Don't do it! Don't!
igo baby dragon: I'll do it! where do I sign!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: perfect, just sign here and... there. now, just go home and wait for next season, and we'll launch your new anime
Megy: ugh, can't we have a new cute mascot!? this stupid little twerp is going to get me ki-

Suddenly, the building shakes as something else lands on it.

Megy: ...I think I don't want to look.
Bieber: After all of my hard work, you stole my baby dragon and destroyed more anti-kajiurans and even Fergie. I'll get rid of you now.
Megy: yeah, well, your music is horrible too! and you look like a girl and have a tiny--

Bieber throws Megy off the skyscraper!

Megy: I can't flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Suddenly.... a shape appears from nowhere and catches Megy as she falls!

Megy: You? But you're?!

Fade to black!

 

[george1234]

^ lol what makes it "anime" ? that the onions move a bit ?

 

[MegyTomitatsu]

Should you add 6th episode here too, or? I'm still posting them in the logs thread.

 

[Black Sword]

No worries! This is for the slightly improved and edited version, with fewer typoes and mistakes and some additional content. Speaking of which...

Transformation 06.... but you're?!

When last we saw our brave heroine she was....

Megy: I can't flyyyyyyyyyyy

...falling from a building to her inevitable doom! But suddenly... something flies across the screen and catches Megy before she hits the ground!
Megy: I'm saved, but who... but you're...?!

Megy's savior is revealed to be...

IB: Megy-san, I've come to rescue you!
Megy: When did you become a mahou shoujo, Birdie?!
IB: Oh, you remember when that building fell on Fergie's head a couple episodes ago?
Megy: Yeah, I do. Wait, you don't mean--
IB: yeah, I was inside
Megy: But then that means

The screen begins to distort...

Megy: Ugh, flashback sequences

Flashback to the battle between Megy and Fergie, right before the building fell!

IB: Official Kalafina Keiko wig! Wait... Why is the building shaking?

IB looks outside

IB: THE BUILDING IS FALLING
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Say
IB: Wait, you're real?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: yes, yes, but shouldn't you make a wish? I mean, otherwise the building will fall
IB: um, um, um WE'RE FALLING!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: any time now
IB: I WISH I COULD FLY AWAY FROM THIIIIIIIS
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Sure.

Transformation sequences follows as IB transforms into a mahou shoujo version of Haruna Luna's sora wa takaku kaze wa utau dress!

IB: And that's the story. Now I'm an official mahou shoujo!
Megy: Birdie
IB: Yes Megy-san?
Megy: BAD BIRDIE! BAD!
IB: But but but... I didn't want my Keiko wig to get damaged
Megy: Not that! I'm mad you didn't get me one!
IB: I'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyyy
Megy: Yeah, well-- IB, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GO-

Unfortunately, due to her tears, IB stopped paying attention and flew herself and Megy into an office building! Confused office workers stare at the girls!

Office workers
Megy: ....Birdie...
IB: Yes, Megy-san?
Megy: We're going to have a little talk. About how I really don't want to be seen in a mahou shoujo outfit and how you should pay attention when you fly.
IB: h-hai.
Megy: But first....

Megy takes a deep breath and channels all of her Keiko fangirlism into a single Keiko imitation moment!

Megy:

› The office workers are overwhelmed by the power of Megy's imitation!

Megy: and now it's time for.... retreeeeeeat!

Megy grabs IB by the collar and runs out while the office workers are too busy being overwhelmed!
Later, at Megy's house....

IB:
Megy: What did you learn?
IB: To pay attention where I'm going when I'm flying
Megy: Good. So, what else can you do besides fly?
IB: I can... I can... ....uh oh
Megy: I have a horrible feeling I know what's coming but... what uh oh?
IB: Um... it's maybe possible I.... can only fly?
Megy: So you have no combat abilities?
IB: Um, I can drop stuff! Yeah, like bombs and stuff, like that other magical girl from that famous show!
Megy: um, that other magical girl, she had a place to hold all those bombs and stuff. She could break the laws of physics. You don't and you can't.
IB: ...I can fly you places!
Megy: ....well, at least I don't have to worry about getting thrown off buildings anymore. Oy, twerp. Where are you?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼:
Megy: Stop eating my food.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: What do you want?
Megy: An explanation. Why is Birdie pretty much an airplane without an in-flight movie?
IB: But, um, wait! You could watch movies on my table-
Megy:
IB: ...right, no in-flight movie
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Like that other show, your wish reflects your powers. You wished to protect everyone, so you were given combat powers to make that possible. Your friend wanted to fly, so...
Megy: ...Birdie. The next time you see an evil little twerp granting wishes, make a better wish

Suddenly, the window breaks!

Megy: THOSE STUPID KIDS, PLAYING SOCCER AND BREAKING MY WINDOWS AGAIN! I'M GOING TO USE THEM FOR TARGET PRACTICE!
IB: Um, Megy-san Isn't that Verthand's shoe?
Megy: What?

Someone has thrown Verty's shoe throw Megy's window and a note is attached!

I have your husbando. Come alone to the park. - will.i.am

Megy: great. My husbando got kidnapped by the leader of the Black-Eyed Peas, Birdie is an airplane without an in-flight movie and can't fight, and I'm stuck in this anime. What else can go wrong?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: the food you were making before you went to rescue the igo baby dragon burned your kitchen.
Megy: ...I need a new job

 

[Black Sword]

Transformation 07 ...wait, it's a trap!?

The scene opens at Megy's house! Her window has been broken!

Megy: stupid pop stars, breaking my windows, replacing windows isn't cheap, you know?
IB: Uh, Megy-san?
Megy: It's a lot of money and you have to find good windows that fit and look nice
IB: But Megy-san--
Megy: It's going to be so expensive, I'll have to eat ramen for weeks
IB: Megy-san! They have your husbando! What are you going to do!?
Megy: Huh? Oh, right, my husbando.
IB: Yes, your husbando! He's been kidnapped! What--
Megy: He can pay for the broken window! It's his fault he got kidnapped! I'm taking back this month's allowance!
IB: What? Allowance? But he's an adult with his own salary and job!
Megy: We follow traditional Japanese financial management. I handle all of the money, including his, and give him a monthly allowance for stuff he can do. Since he got kidnapped and got our window broken, I'm taking back his allowance and making him pay for it.
IB: I think this isn't going the way it's supposed to. Megy-san, you're a mahou shoujo! You're supposed to rescue him!
Megy: What do I look like, a rescue service?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: You did make a wish to protect everyone
Megy: Man, even this little twerp is bothering me, even though it's so obvious this--
IB: You have to do it! It's your duty as a majou shoujo!
Megy:
IB:
Megy: Fine, I'll do it. Go get me your official Kalafina Keiko wig, Birdie.
IB: Why? It's MINE!
Megy: Birdie.
IB:
Megy: Bring me the wig. Now.
IB: Hai, Megy-sama-dono

Later, at the park, we see someone with a Keiko hairstyle and in a mahou shoujo outfit sneaking from tree to tree an effort to go unnoticed. At the center of the park...

will.i.am: I got you now, and I'm going to use you
Verty: Why does this always happen to me? I just want to play my eroges!
will.i.am: Huh? What's an... eroh...geh?
Verty: You don't know what eroges are? Well, you see...

Verty explains to the Black-Eyed Pea leader what eroges are!

will.i.am: ....gross.

Suddenly, a loud noise! The camera cuts to a tree nearby and a mahou shoujo that has tripped and fallen on an unseen tree root!

Verty: waifu! Save me!
will.i.am: You came! Too bad, this is a trap!

Anti-kajiurans drop from the trees and spring out of hiding! They surround Megy and begin to attack!

Anti-kajiurans:
Megy:

Megy begins to move to unleash her power! However....

will.i.am: Don't move! Or else your husbando gets it.
Verty:

Verty faints!

Megy:

Before Megy can say anything, the anti-kajiurans resume their attack!

Anti-kajiurans:
Megy:

will.i.am: I can't believe you beat Fergie. This is humiliating. I don't even have to do anything to send you flying.

will.i.am grabs Megy by the head and throws her up into a tree! However....

will.i.am: Huh? Is this a wig?

Up in the tree, a transformation scene takes place!

A shape swoops through the air and grabs the wig before grabbing the fainted Verty!

IB: Never underestimate a mahou shoujo!
will.i.am: ...wait, it's a trap!?

Far away, in a different section of the park, atop a tall pedestal...

Megy: What, did you really think I'd fall for something like this?

Megy: estia kasa misti firi ato.....

A giant gun appears in Megy's hands! It's a powerful rifle that seems to have infinite range! Megy lifts the gun and aims it at will.i.am and the anti-kajiurans. the light of the silver moon falls upon them!
Megy: down to zero we go!

will.i.am: This can't be happening! I can't lose like this!

Megy pulls the trigger! a great beam of light that looks as beautiful as the silver moon obliterates will.i.am and the anti-kajiurans!
will.i.am: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Megy jumps down from her sniper position with all the elegance of that legendary black mahou shoujo who intervened in that one battle in that famous anime and tosses her hair to look cool

Megy: Never underestimate a mahou shoujo.
IB: Megy-san, I brought your husbando!

Megy: Is he ok?
IB: Yeah, he's fine. He fainted, that's all.
Megy: mai husbando is a wimp. Bad husbando, making your waifu save you! No allowance for you this month!

Megy gets Verty's wallet out of Vert's pocket and gently sits him down on the park bench.

Megy: Let's see... splendid, we can get a new window
Verty: Huh? Where am I?
Megy:
Verty: Waifu? Waifu in mahou shoujo outfit

Verty faints from blood loss!

Megy: Maybe I should consider a divorce?

 

[Black Sword]

Transformation 08 ...we're not cancelled?!

The scene opens at Megy's house as she prepares lunch in the kitchen. Megy is singing that famous opening song when she notices the camera and stares in shock.

Megy: ...we're not cancelled?!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Actually, the entire anime got picked up for another season.
Megy: What
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: We were just having problems resolving the contract, so we went into hiatus.
Megy: But that means-
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Due to technical issues, though, our budget is smaller, so fewer onions can be used.
Megy: But I was supposed to be free!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: You made a contract with me. You knew what you were getting into.
Megy: No, I don't want to, I don't, I don't, I don't!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Hey, we need those onions! Now we only have 45 left for this episode!
Megy: I'm going to make a stew out of you.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: 44 onions left.

The doorbell rings before Megy can incubate a delicious stew! The door opens and reveals IB!

IB: Megy, Megy, they're doing a music festival at CPM Musical Academy in a couple hours! It's going to be Kalafina themed and there's going to be a cosplay competition too, I get to use my wig, and they're even saying they have a surprise guest!
Megy: Kalafina? Cosplay? Surprise guest? Quick, let's go before the line gets too big!

The girls race out of Megy's house, intent on being the first to reach CPM Musical Academy to get in line. However, when they get there...

Megy: WHY IS THIS LINE SO HUGE!?

The camera zooms out to reveal a massive line that wraps around the impressive CPM Musical Academy, crosses the street, and continues onward for several blocks.

Megy: I somehow don't think we're going to make it inside....
???: Meeeegyyyyyy!
Megy: Eh? Who called me?
???: Over here, Megy! Over here!
Megy: akiiiiiiiiiii!
aki: Megyyyyy Hey, are you here for the festival? Come join us in line, we're close to the front!
IB: Close to the front?! How!?
aki: This is the true power of fandom We were camping here since last night.
Megy: We? aki! Equal! Minna-san!
aki: oh, and we have new people too! This is Ecarlet, she joined us recently, but she was the first person to start camping here!
Ecarlet:
Megy: Oh.
aki: By the way, did you catch the news report earlier? Apparently, some weirdos have been seen dressing up as magical girls and running around town. They're saying they're terrorists responsible for all the recent property damage!
IB: Whaaaaaaat? We're not-HMPH!
Megy: Quiet, birdie, or else I won't be using a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner.
IB:
aki: Eh? Is something wrong?
Megy: Nothing, nothing at all!
aki: Ah, ok! IB, I love your wig! Where did you get it?
IB: Oh, I got it from KalaHairClub!
aki: Wait, didn't they close down because their building fell? Those mean terrorists...
IB: No, that was be-
Megy: -fore they closed, right, birdie?
IB: H-hai!
aki: I kinda feel... a little weird...
Ecarlet: Are you ok, aki?
aki: I...

Suddenly, aki faints! Megy looks around in confusion.

Megy: Wait, where did the line go!?

The hundreds of kajiurans have mysteriously disappeared!

Ecarlet: This is bad...
IB: What do we do, Megy-sama!?
Megy: I... I don't.... wait, what's that noise?

???: Whoa, whoa, someone's unaffected by our swag!

Suddenly...

Megy: ....why are there two clowns talking in stereo here?
???: Clowns? Foo, we be...
LMFAO!!!!
...we dancing foo!
Megy: You wear awful clothes, you have awful hair, and you look like idiots. Don't tell me. You're pop stars.

LMFAO: You got it. We big ol' pop stars!
Megy: I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job....
LMFAO: Now, we gonna swag our way into your hearts and take y'all to da boss!
Megy: Or... not?

Suddenly, Megy transforms! She tosses her long hair as her mahou shoujo version of the To The Beginning dress appears on her body!

LMFAO: So you da one who caused all sorts of probs for da boss'boss!
Megy: And now I'm going to cause you problems. Now birdie!

IB flies into the air and starts flying in circles at high speed.

LMFAO: What's that supposed to do?

Megy: See, I was having trouble with one of my moves. It was just getting weaker and weaker. But I thought this might make it better. MATA KAZE GA TSUYOKU NATTA!

A great windstorm grows around the area as IB's vortex mingles with Megy's whirlwind! However....

Megy: Shibatta!!!

aki's unconscious body, along with LMFAO, Ecarlet and IB herself, end up getting caught in the maelstrom!

Megy: What do I doooo!?
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Stop them.
Megy: Oy, twerp, if I knew how, I wouldn't be panicking!
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼: Shoot straight through the middle of the whirlwind and it'll stop.
Megy: Oh, that's... not a bad idea!

Megy: estia kasa misti firi ato.....

A giant gun appears in Megy's hands! It's a powerful rifle that seems to have infinite range! Megy lifts the gun and aims it at will.i.am and the anti-kajiurans. the light of the silver moon falls upon them!
Megy: down to zero we go!

Megy pulls the trigger! a great beam of light that looks as beautiful as the silver moon blasts through the middle of the whirlwind, causing everyone in the maelstrom to hit the ground headfirst!

Megy: Uh.... mission accomplished?
LMFAO: You ain't see the last of us, foo! We got all your friends to revive the boss'boss!
Megy: Wait... revive? But this isn't the season finale, you can't bring back any dead villains!
IB: Megy-sama, they're running away with aki and Ecarlet and everyone.
Megy: Gah!!! Not another multi-episode arc!!!

 

[Black Sword]

So, howdy everyone. I think we've all figured out that Assassin Mahou Shoujo Megy got cancelled. I think I'd like to try something in regards to this anime idea, and just deliver it in a more condensed, easily digested format. Those walls of text, while funny, could take time to get through. So, instead, I'm reviving some skills I haven't used in a decade and hoping for the best.

Feedback appreciated, even if it's only lols. The characters will be based on people from CPM, so, try to guess their identities. Without further ado....

Anime: Mechusume Soldier Lucia
Year: 2015
Season: Spring
Studio: Studio CPM

 

[Bulmafox]

I know you want me to like it right away, but I'm gonna reserve judgement for now. It's too soon to tell whether I like it or not.

I do, however, love the graphics. I'm a sucker for SNES graphics.

 

[Black Sword]

 

[Black Sword]