Original songs (●´∀｀●)

[Nyaru]

Hello, everyone ヽ(；▽；)ノ
I wanted to create a thread for sharing original songs, as I got a couple of mine down today and on MediaFire and wanted to share them / wanted people's opinions! When I'm older I aspire to be like Yuki in writing music for picture, so hearing everyone's thoughts would be very useful!
If there's already a recent thread for a similar purpose I really apologise, I'm a little new (^ ^ゞ

The links are here!

http://www.mediafire.com/?suobsoktzw2n1t0 = piano piece I wrote today
http://www.mediafire.com/?4z8f9j1h138l5aj = orchestral piece I wrote for school a month or so ago

Thank you very much! （　´∀｀）

 

[Special_K]

Ahhh....It's quite a shame that "Rain" was very poorly recorded (sounds like it was done with a mobile phone, I guess? or in internet parlance: which oven did you use to record this? XD). "Tom" was a lot better in that respect (although it still sounds very MIDI to me).

As for the tunes themselves, I wasn't getting the context for Rain (possibly due to the recording quality) and it sounded quite abstract (some influence from Chopin's Prelude No. 15 in D-flat? ).

For Tom, I think as an ensemble/orchestra piece, it would be nice if you could do a "reprise" version, but with a lot more layers to the sound if you may.

Also, for both tracks, they are too short and ended off rather abruptly. This is especially the case with "Tom" where you were finishing off a piece before it even really began. If you need inspiration for lengthening your tracks, try looking up artistes like Ludovico Einaudi (whose noire piano tracks seem to have a similar vibe to your music). While the quality of a track should still be your main focus, at least try to make them last for about 5 to 6 mins each or it would be difficult to "tell a story" (so to speak).

You might want to read up a little on music-making techniques as well as tips for recording, mixing and mastering your music. A good place to start would be in magazines and forums. (Note: We also have icedphoenix in this forum, who does a lot of composing and recording himself so he's very experienced in the field. Try approaching him to see if he's available.)

To wrap up, the tracks are not offensive to listen to (which is IMPORTANT! ). But (and a really big "BUT") you'll really have to brush up a lot on your recording and composing skills. You have a lot of ground to catch up with a lot of other hobby composers in the field.

Work extra hard and we hope to hear more from you in future!

 

[Alphard Sokaina]

Kelly wrote such a good comment that I have nothing to add. I'd also like to hear a longer orchestral version of Tom

 

[icedphoenix]

Might as well chime in, since my name was invoked

I agree with Special K on most points. Rain has a lot of potential but the relatively low recording quality hurts it. In terms of the song itself, I like the basic premise and accompaniment. Call it a quirk for my particular tastes, but I feel that it could be more dynamics - bigger contrast between the softs and the louds... but note that this is mainly due to my taste as a writer and interpreter; if this is the way you intended it, then so be it. :)

Tom actually has a LOT of promise - but it's sounds like a 7 minute song compressed into 2 minutes. I REALLY like the instrumentation - everything is relatively clean and sounds relatively realistic (of course, I'm not one to talk about realism with instruments, since 75% of the instruments that I use are electronic). I also like the basic melody - it shows a lot of promise. I think what you'd need to work on is to take what you have now and to at least do variations. If you're versed in sonata-allegro form, then a development section is what you'd be looking for.

But overall, good job with what you have so far - there's a lot of promise in what I hear.

 

[Nyaru]

The reason behind Tom being so short is that I had to literally compress it. It was originally slower, but I was running out of time (the maximum length for the piece was 2 minutes - this was written last year as part of a GCSE course), but I sped it up to allow more room for other sections. I'm sorry about that, there was nothing I could really do... If / when I have time, maybe once I've finished my exams, I'll make a longer version and definitely take into account what you've suggested. c:
As for Rain, it was very much so inspired by Chopin! We're studying the Raindrop Prelude currently in class, and my teacher asked us to 'write a short piece about rain'. It was not compulsory but I wanted to record it before I forgot it, so I used my mother's digital camera, extracted the audio and denoised it in Logic 7, so I've hardly worked on it enough.
Thank you so so much for your comments, I really appreciate them - and I'll definitely take them into account, as previously said. As for 'brushing up' on my skills, I think I have a long way to go before I can do that TT^TT