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Hyakka Ryouran Lyrics

magicmagiamahou

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
Kanji (thanks to @putschki1969 on tumblr)

夢を見て
僕らは泣いた
涙を持たぬ筈の
鋼の心で
さだめを?思うと?
違う夜明けの色を祈り

何を守るためにまた
消えた時を彷徨って
滅びへと駆け抜ける
光放つ刃

あの時消えていった
紅い虹の彼方には
君が見た世界がまだ
目覚めを知らず
天に在って

Romaji (full):
yume wo mite
bokura wa naita
namida wo motanu hazu no
hagane no kokoro de
sadame wo? omou to?
chigau yoake no iro wo inori

nani wo mamoru tame ni mata
kieta toki wo samayotte
horobi e to kakenukeru
hikari hanatsu yaiba

ano toki kieteitta
akai niji no kanata ni wa
kimi ga mita sekai ga mada
mezame wo shirazu
ten ni ate

hana no you ni sakuhonoo no naka ni
ima mo tatazumu bokura no sugata
kizami komareta michi ni komoru
kudaketa yume no ato

nokosareta bokura wa kitto
sabita kusari wo tsunagu
saigo no kakera de
mitodoketa yoru no tsuki no hikari wo
aoku yadosu yaiba

mamoritai to omou no wa
kimi ga yume wo mita sekai
hikari e to kakenuketa
sono michi no mabushisa

omoi wo nokoshita mama
kokoro wa chitteyuku keredo (yasashiku)
yakeochita michi wo kadori
amata no yume ga ima mo
sora wo kagesu
homura ten ni todoku


English Translation (lyrical-nonsense - edited by yuki.n):

We dreamed and cried,
inside our steel hearts that were supposed to contain no tears.
We thought about our fate
We prayed for the dawn to have a different color.

What did we try to protect when we
wandered again inside the disappeared time
We run onward toward destruction with swords emanating light.

The world you witnessed beyond a red rainbow
That vanished some time ago
Still awaits, unwaking, within the heavens.
 
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yuki.n

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
さだめを?思うと?
違う夜明けの色を祈り
I clearly hear 思った (omotta) and not 思うと (omou to) here. Anyone else?

mezame wo shirazu
ten ni ate
atte*

I know I'm not particularly addressing anyone here with my corrections, but if someone reads this and understands enough Japanese, it will hopefully be useful.

Witnessing our dream, we cried,
Just "we dreamed and cried"... what's the part about witnessing? 見る is used just as "dreaming" here :confu:

Despite believing our steel hearts contained no tears.
Well, again :confu: "inside our steel hearts that were supposed to contain no tears" - it's both more accurate and making enough sense to keep it as it is.

We wished for the dawn of fate
To be colored differently.
I clearly hear this as "omotta" and not "omou to", so that would break this down into two separate things here:
We thought about our fate
We prayed for the dawn to have a different color

In order to protect something (even now),
We wander this era we've come to understand.
We run onward toward destruction with swords emanating light.
It does say "nani" and not "nanika". Also this "come to understand" - where is that? It says "kieta" and not "wakatta" or anything. And "mata" means "again" and not "even now"! Rephrasing:
What did we try to protect when we
wandered again inside the disappeared time (or the time when we disappeared?)
We run onward toward destruction with swords emanating light ← this part is OK

The world you witnessed beyond a red rainbow
That vanished some time ago
Still awaits, unwaking, within the heavens.
I'd also leave that part as it is.
 

magicmagiamahou

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
@yuki.n I read this translation on the website and thought eeeh... this isn't as accurate as I thought but copied and pasted it anyway. It was better than my original translation.
 

ritardando

I have reached Yuki nirvana
It sounds more like "omou to" than "omotta" to me as well
lmao this got me confused.

i hear omotta.

i have nothing against lyricalnonsense's translation but their works on kalafina lyrics tend to have...how do i say it, certain creative liberties. their translations are easier to understand than your translation, @yuki.n but at the same time also less correct because they sometimes break the sentence/stanza at the wrong part. they also have a bit flair or dramatic (?) in their translations. idk how to phrase it lmao. other than kajiura lyrics i think they mostly did a fine job translating.

and kajiura's lyrics are sometimes hard to understand by themselves and even when the words are easily translated one by one, the syntax doesn't work at all with english sentence, e.g. that longing from SAO ordinal scale. looking at the lyrics people with basic japanese would know the meaning of the words by words and at least have basic understanding of what the lyrics want to convey but it's really hard to translate and paraphrase the lyrics as whole into english...
 

ritardando

I have reached Yuki nirvana
translating yume wo mite as witnessing our dream is definitely the example of their love of dramatic flair in translating...
 

yuki.n

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
Disclaimer: I am not an expert in translations, I have no relevant studies, and neither English nor Japanese is my native language. But here goes my opinion anyway.

Generally, a "correct" translation is one that generally conveys the same meaning to the reader. An example I had read was talking about translating the Bible into the language of some people who didn't know what a fig is. Therefore, Adam and Eve covered themselves with leaves from a banana tree. In that context, it didn't matter which tree it was, so it was better to just go with a banana tree and keep the text simpler.

Adding dramatic flair is IMHO not a good thing to do in that sense. I generally try to make my translations as easy to understand as possible, but that's not always easy for me when the source text is something that I need to read 2-3 times in order to fully put things into perspective. Taking into account the fact that I'm not native in either language (I've been tempted to also provide Greek translations in a couple of songs where they'd flow SO MUCH easier), or the fact that I'm not very experienced in translations, you can say that my more-accurate-but-harder-to-understand translations are partly due to "artistic" choice (not wanting to stray away from the source material) and partly due to lack of experience.

On the other hand, if I do preserve this spirit of read-it-twice-to-understand from the source material (albeit accidentally), maybe my translations are indeed more "correct". As long as they do make sense when you read them again. I'm not one to judge myself in any case.
 

george1234

Moderator
An example I had read was talking about translating the Bible into the language of some people who didn't know what a fig is. Therefore, Adam and Eve covered themselves with leaves from a banana tree. In that context, it didn't matter which tree it was, so it was better to just go with a banana tree and keep the text simpler.
Haha ! I guess the banana tree leafs are doing better job at covering, too.
 

ritardando

I have reached Yuki nirvana
@yuki.n your translation is really fine :XD: i just need more time understanding it, plus english also isn't my first language. translating songs isn't an easy job. if you happen to take japanese literature major, one thing that you also need to pay attention to when translating songs is to make the translation matches the beat of the song as well. plus if the song has some english/any other foreign words within, if possible those words should be on their exact place on the song and it makes translating even more complicated, since sometimes the really "correct" translation would place those foreign words on another place on the sentence/stanza--this is all according to my friend. her lecturer said that the translated song should be singable as well as it is in the original language. but since we're here just to know what the lyrics wanted to convey i don't think all those things above should be really put into consideration. i'm posting it just to be food for the thought. all the more respect to people on this site who contributed on translating kajiurasongs.
 

george1234

Moderator
^ I see ^^ but the problem is that, some languages have longer words that others, and the syllables change, so, oftenly, when translating a song to sing it with the same melody, one has to write different lyrics, as the exact translation doesnt match with the melody of the song.
 

yuki.n

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
@ritardando Thanks, but I really didn't feel offended or anything, no worries :XD: Just thought it's a nice opportunity to discuss some general things about translations.

About translating songs to make them match the beat of the song as well: I've seen some such translations lying around and I really respect the people who do that. It takes incredible effort. Especially what @george1234 said about longer words. Translating from Japanese to English is generally OK-ish, you'd just need to add some filler words here and there. The other way around would be a disaster, you'd have to really omit some things in order to catch the beat of the song :imdead: But yes, I agree that there's no point in doing that here - it's more important to explain what the song says without making it singable, and also what you said earlier about giving people some familiar words to help them with self-studying.

However, I'm really interested in translation theory / best practices / etc, and I can really see myself grabbing some related books and doing some self-study. I'm just afraid that it will end up in my endless 積ん読 :imdead: :XD: Anyway, if you have (from your friend) some related literature from her lessons, please let me know!

EDIT: For those of you who don't know the word 積ん読 (tsundoku), it's my second-favourite Japanese word, literally meaning "piled-up reading" : http://jisho.org/search/積ん読 (first favourite being 別腹 "separate stomach", http://jisho.org/search/別腹 )
 

yuki.n

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
hana no you ni sakuhonoo no naka ni
ima mo tatazumu bokura no sugata
kizami komareta michi ni komoru
kudaketa yume no ato

nokosareta bokura wa kitto
sabita kusari wo tsunagu
saigo no kakera de
mitodoketa yoru no tsuki no hikari wo
aoku yadosu yaiba

mamoritai to omou no wa
kimi ga yume wo mita sekai
hikari e to kakenuketa
sono michi no mabushisa

omoi wo nokoshita mama
kokoro wa chitteyuku keredo (yasashiku)
yakeochita michi wo kadori
amata no yume ga ima mo
sora wo kagesu
homura ten ni todoku
Are these by ear? My version is slightly different:

花のように咲く炎の中に
今もたたずむ僕等の姿
刻み込まれた道に凍る
砕けた夢の跡

残された僕等はきっと
錆びた鎖を繋ぐ
最後の欠片で
見届けた夜の月の光を青く宿す刃

守りたいと思うのは
君が夢を見た世界
光へと駆け抜けた
その道の眩しさ

想いを残したまま
心は散って行くけれど(優しく)
焼け落ちた道を辿り
あまたの夢が今も
空を焦がす
焔は天に届く

hana no you ni saku honoo no naka ni
ima mo tatazumu bokura no sugata
kizamikomareta michi ni kooru
kudaketa yume no ato

nokosareta bokura wa kitto
sabita kusari wo tsunagu
saigo no kakera de
mitodoketa yoru no tsuki no hikari wo
aoku yadosu yaiba

mamoritai to omou no wa
kimi ga yume wo mita sekai
hikari e to kakenuketa
sono michi no mabushisa

omoi wo nokoshita mama
kokoro wa chitteyuku keredo (yasashiku)
yakeochita michi wo tadori
amata no yume ga ima mo
sora wo kogasu
homura wa ten ni todoku
 
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yuki.n

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
I asked my Japanese friend. His observations:

1) 思うと is correct, and not 思った
2) Near the end, it says 焦がす and not 溶かす
3) 何を 守るためにまた(今を)
[...]
赤い虹の彼方には(ずっと)
[...]
心は散って行くけれど(優しく)

I'll update the translation when I have time (hopefully tomorrow or this weekend), unless someone else volunteers, then I can double-check it.
 

yuki.n

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
花のように咲く炎の中に
今もたたずむ僕等の姿
刻み込まれた道に凍る
砕けた夢の跡
Our figures are loitering even now
inside the flames that blossom like flowers
The remainders of a shattered dream
are freezing on the street we carved

残された僕等はきっと
錆びた鎖を繋ぐ
最後の欠片で
見届けた夜の月の光を青く宿す刃
We, who stayed behind, are surely
linking together a rotten chain
A blade is palely inhabiting the light of the last night
that we saw with our own eyes in the chain's last fragment

守りたいと思うのは
君が夢を見た世界
光へと駆け抜けた
その道の眩しさ
What we think we want to protect
is the world you dreamed of
We ran and escaped towards the light
in the brightness of that street

想いを残したまま
心は散って行くけれど(優しく)
焼け落ちた道を辿り
あまたの夢が今も
空を焦がす
焔は天に届く
Hearts scatter with their feelings
still left behind, but (kindly)
several dreams follow
the burned-down street and
burn the sky even now
the flames go up to the sky
 

yuki.n

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
Initial kanji/romaji still possibly pending corrections (and the translation too, accordingly), but let's leave that for when the official lyrics are out.
 

sprinterXkyrie

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
source: booklet

梦を见て仆らは泣いた
涙を持たぬ筈の
钢の心で
运命(さだめ)を思った
违う夜明けの色を祈り

何を守る为にまた
消えた时を彷徨って
灭びへと駆け抜ける
光放つ刃

あの时消えて行った
红い虹の彼方には
君が见た世界がまだ
目醒めを知らず天にあって

花のように咲く炎の中に
今も伫む仆らの姿
刻み込まれた道に冻る
砕けた梦の痕

残された仆らはきっと
锖びた锁を繋ぐ最后の欠片で
见届けた夜の
月の光を苍く宿す刃

守りたいと思うのは
君が梦を见た世界
光へと駆け抜けた
その道の眩しさ

思いを残したまま
心は散って行くけれど
焼け堕ちた道を辿り
数多の梦が今も空を焦がす
いつか焔は天に届く
 

yuki.n

I eat sleep and breathe Yuki
Fixed kanji:


夢を見て僕らは泣いた
涙を持たぬ筈の
鋼の心で
運命(さだめ)を思った
違う夜明けの色を祈り

何を守る為にまた(今を)
消えた時を彷徨って
滅びへと駆け抜ける
光放つ刃

あの時消えて行った
紅い虹の彼方には(ずっと)
君が見た世界がまだ
目醒めを知らず天にあって

花のように咲く炎の中に
今も佇む僕らの姿
刻み込まれた道に凍る
砕けた夢の痕

残された僕らはきっと
錆びた鎖を繋ぐ最後の欠片で
見届けた夜の
月の光を蒼く宿す刃

守りたいと思うのは
君が夢を見た世界
光へと駆け抜けた
その道の眩しさ

思いを残したまま
心は散って行くけれど(優しく)
焼け堕ちた道を辿り
数多の夢が今も空を焦がす
いつか焔は天に届く
 
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