N
ninetales
Guest
Looking back at my translation of Fuyu no Seiza, I'm completely embarrassed by how bad it was...
so, with my new knowledge of grammar, I went over it again and re-translated it.
Aside from the second line, I think (hope) they're much better.

kyonen to doko ga kawatta no?
kami ga sukoshi nobita yo ne kagami no naka de
kawaranu hibi ga soredemo watashi o kaete yuku koto
shiri hajimeteru
from last year, where have I changed?
my hair has grown a little in the mirror
the way unchanging days still change things for me
is what I'm beginning to realize
hitoribocchi no dareka ga machikado de utatteta
ashita no tame no kotoba ga mune ni shimita yo
that lonely someone sang on the street corner
and words for tomorrow's sake penetrated my heart
no more lonely day
hitori da to kigatsuite
nukumori o sagashiteita to yatto sunao ni naru
hitori zutsu aruiteru michi dakara yorisoeru
fuyu no seiza o miageru yoru ni
no more lonely day
I am becoming aware of one person
I had searched for warmth, and at last I become gentler
because the road that each of you walk on is obscured
you look up at a winter constellation in the night
wakatta you na koto bakari
itte ita you na ki ga suru okubyou sugite
shiranai koto o shiritai to
sunao ni omou koto wa sukoshi kowai kara
only like I understood those things
like I did them, I have a hunch that goes beyond cowardice
I want to know the things that I don't know
because feeling gentleness is a little frightening
aitakute sagashiteta mi mo shiranai dareka wa
kitto ashita no jibun no massugu na hitomi
the person who is free of their searched-for self is
surely the tomorrow of your honest gaze
some more lonely days
ima dake no hontou o shiritakute
kaze no jumon de fuyu no DOA o hiraku
kanashimi no ame ga furu machikado de yorisoeru
fuyu no seiza ga kagayaku yoru ni
some more lonely days
now, I only know the truth
in the wind's spell, I open winter's door
the rain of sadness falls, obscuring the street corner
and a winter constellation sparkles in the night
mi o kiru you na kogarashi ga
sotto senaka o oshiteiku
as though it cuts at my body, the cold winter wind
softly presses against my back
some more lonely days
sabishisa ni kigatsuite
fuyuzora ni machi no akari ga atatakaku mieru yo
mamori tsuzuke ta VEERU o nugisutete miagereba
fuyu no seiza ga hikari ni kawaru
kagayaiteiru
some more lonely days
I am becoming aware of loneliness
in the winter sky, the town's light is warmly in sight
I fling off the veil of continued protection, and when I look up
a winter constellation changes into light
and sparkles
Aside from the second line, I think (hope) they're much better.
