FJYUUKA ~ Romanesque Retrans

[arqnohikari]

Ugh my head
I'm in summer lyric clean up mode. I'll try and not overdo-it

Owaranai natsu no you ni
Chiranai hana no you ni
Dakishimeta sono ude o
Zutto hanasanaide ite yo

Like a neverending summer
Like flowers that never die
Those arms you've wrapped around me
Don’t ever let go of me

Akogare o kurikaeshi
doko e mo ikenakute mo
Dakishimeta sono ude o zutto
hanasanaide ite yo

Yearning over & over
Even if I can’t go anywhere
Those arms you've wrapped around me
Don’t ever let go of me

Ima, kinou mo ashita mo
moyashitsukushite mo ii
Setsunasa no tachidomaru
Kono hitotoki ga futari no subete yo

At this moment, it's fine if the past and future are all burned away
When the heartache comes to a stop
To the two of us this moment is...everything

Sugaritsuite mite mo
Mune wa mada chigau hakanasa de
Toki no rizumu kazoeteru
Akai hoshi no yoru

Even if I try clinging to you
My hearts still heeds a different evanescence
Counting the rhythm of time by it
A night of red stars

Kiete yuku nukumori
tsunagitometai no yo
Hitomi tojita kimi o

The vanishing warmth
I want to keep it here
You, with your eyes closed

Akogare o kurikaeshi
doko e mo ikenakute mo
Dakishimeta sono ude o zutto
hanasanaide ite yo
Toki no nagusame no subete keshisatte mo ii
Setsunasa o yakitsukushi
Ima ikite iru no koko ni Futari de

Yearning over & over
Even if I can’t go anywhere
Those arms you've wrapped around me
Don’t ever let go of me
Its fine if all my time of comfort is erased
Burning away the sorrow from the place we are living at now

Mune ga itamu hodo no jounetsu ni kokoro yudanetara
Nakushita mono kono ude ni torimodoseru you de

If I entrust my heart to a passion that hurts my heart,
it seems I can get back what I lost in my arms

Wakeatta namida ga koboreochinai you Hitomi tojite ita no

I closed my eyes so that the tears we shared won't run down my cheeks

Yume no you na toki ni owari wa kuru no ne
Sabishii hitai ni wa tsuki no yasashisa…

The end is coming to this dreamlike time
The moon's kindness is on your lonely forehead…

Owaranai natsu no you ni
Chiranai hana no you ni
Dakishimeta sono ude o
zutto hanasanaide ite yo
Ima, yorube no nai
koi ni kiesattemo ii
Setsunasa no tachidomaru
Kono hitotoki ga futari no subete yo

Like a neverending summer
Like flowers that never die
Those arms you've wrapped around me
Don’t ever let go of me
At this moment, with no one to turn to,
its fine if I fade away from love
When the heartache comes to a stop
To the two of us this moment is...everything

 

[garnetjester]

"an neverending summer" is incorrect, should be "a neverending summer"

 

[arqnohikari]

If you're going to make any corrections,
you better correct more than the obvious line.
That was a Grammar Nazi move you just did there.

 

[garnetjester]

I'm sorry, I figured it was a typo which is why I pointed it out, and I thought you should know. But nevermind, I won't make the same mistake twice, carry on

 

[yuki.n]

It's very good generally

There are a few lines which could use some nitpicking, but I don't know how much time I'll have these days. If I don't write anything soon-ish, you can just upload it

 

[george1234]

Thank you, as always

@ arq: What happened and you lately improved ?

 

[arqnohikari]

Using the anime as a base.

I really don't know
I guess I'm focusing more than I used to o-o

I still slip up from time to time,
So I would usually like a check and approval from my seniors before anything is put on the site.

 

[yuki.n]

Owaranai natsu no you ni
Chiranai hana no you ni
Dakishimeta sono ude o
Zutto hanasanaide ite yo

Like a neverending summer
Like flowers that never die
Those arms you've wrapped around me
Don’t ever let go of me

"Sono ude wo hanasanaide ite" - if you notice the "wo" here, it's more like "don't ever let go of me with those arms you've wrapped around me". Just FYI - not that it changes the meaning in this context :)

Kiete yuku nukumori
tsunagitometai no yo
Hitomi tojita kimi o

The vanishing warmth
I want to keep it here
You, with your eyes closed

A mild rephrasing, it's again a "wo" here, "hitomi tojita kimi wo", and (the way I understand it) it's "kimi wo tsunagitometai", so it might become something like:

I want to keep here
the vanishing warmth
and you, with your eyes closed

Otherwise, the "you, with your eyes closed" sounds a bit dangling. :) but otherwise, until this point I was thinking about not even saying it's not perfect :p

Toki no nagusame no subete keshisatte mo ii
Setsunasa o yakitsukushi
Ima ikite iru no koko ni Futari de

Its fine if all my time of comfort is erased
Burning away the sorrow from the place we are living at now

It's fine to erase all the comfort time brings

Ima, yorube no nai
koi ni kiesattemo ii
Setsunasa no tachidomaru
Kono hitotoki ga futari no subete yo

At this moment, with no one to turn to,
its fine if I fade away from love
When the heartache comes to a stop
To the two of us this moment is...everything

Not "koi kara kiesattemo ii". I understand it as "it's fine if I fade away in love".

 

[arqnohikari]

Thank you yuki

Very informative