I just wish I could be happier, because out of two of my favorite groups who are both celebrating their 10th anni this year (Kalafina and SHINee), one celebration is truly happy, while the other is just devastating and fucking depressing. I guess I just feel slightly bitter that despite how much I like Kalafina, SHINee's 10th anniversary could've also been so momentous and grand (They were going to have their Tokyo Dome tours in celebration of their 10 year anni. It would've been their first appearance as 5 since Onew's scandal in the summer) but what happened last month has just irreparably damaged SHINee as a group and I still haven't recovered and I don't think I ever will.
It's even more fitting that today, Jonghyun's final album was released and I could only listen to the title track/watch the MV because I was crying so goddamn much. His music and his voice was just so good and he was such an artist and I can't believe that he's really gone, he has hands down my favorite voice of all time, no one really composed music or sung like him and the knowledge that I'll never see or hear him again, or that I'll never see SHINee as 5 again hurts so so so so SO much, I haven't been able to stop crying. And seeing all this happy Kalafina news on the same day is just making me feel sadder, despite my best efforts.
So yeah, it's extremely bittersweet for me.